Natalie had her first speech therapy session yesterday. (Finally. We'd been put on a waiting list, and then once we made it past the list we were scheduled with a therapist who cancelled on us two weeks in a row. I called the Center and asked if there was anyway  we could be transferred to a different therapist, and they agreed, telling me that the therapist I was scheduled with "tends to call off a lot..." I just decided, since we didn't know the person yet anyway, Natalie hadn't gotten used to anyone else, and it was really hard getting a four year old pumped up every week for her "speech class", only to be called at 8 am the morning of to be told that it was being cancelled.) So anyway, we had our first session with Bonnie yesterday, and Natalie did SO good!! Since her evaluation some time ago, we'd been working with her on her "f" sound - what the speech center calls the "bite and blow sound" - to get her to pronounce it "f" instead of "b". (Such as, she was saying "fish" as "bish".) Well, since her evaluation we'd worked hard on that sound and the therapist was very impressed and surprised. They spent the whole time working more with the f sound, because often Natalie still mispronounces it when she's not specifically thinking about "biting and blowing". It's so neat to watch her therapy sessions. Ethan and I sit in an adjoining room, where we can see her through a one-way window and hear her through headphones. At one point I moved my purse to get some raisins out for Ethan, and Natalie started giggling and she said "I hear my mom's keys!" Another time, they were playing a matching game using some toys that look like Oreo cookies. Bonnie asked Natalie, "Do you like to eat Oreo cookies?" Natalie answered her, "No, they have ossi-naked oils in them." I could see the puzzled expression on Bonnie's face, but she just kept right going and said, "okay, well we're going to use these to play  a game..." I had to explain that to Bonnie after the session was over. She told me she'd never had a kid tell her they didn't like Oreos before!

After the speech therapy session, we went over to the Park of Roses for a little while. Ethan loves to "mell" flowers. I'd been feeling really under the weather all week (I just have a bad cold, I think, but it made me feel pretty yucky.) but I knew it was going to be a long day because Phil had a LATE meeting scheduled, so even feeling tired and sick I'd rather not spend the whole long day at home. (Especially on long days, the kids drive each other - and me - crazy after awhile. They always play and act nicer to each other and to me when we're not home, for whatever reason...) So even though I wasn't feeling well, it was beautiful out there and the kids loved the roses too. And I actually remembered to bring my camera! (So I finally have new photos posted, below.) 

The poor boy has had increasingly bad diaper rash the last couple days, stemming from the fact that he hasn't had a single diaper change where it wasn't poop, and then starting in the middle of the day yesterday and all through today it became diarrhea.  His bottom is so sore, every time he's changed he starts to cry, and tonight (I kept him home from church since I've not been well and now he's got whatever this is) he began crying before he started GOING. If it continues much into tomorrow I'm going to call his doctor, because he hasn't had this much diarrhea for a long time. Poor little guy. At one point tonight he started crying that he had poop, but it wasn't there yet so I knew it was coming, and I asked him if he wanted to try going on the potty. Well, he was pretty thrilled to be up on the potty seat (first time getting out the old insert) but nothing came out -- until a new diaper came on. As he sat there I told him that it would feel better if he went into the potty, instead of into his diaper, and he nodded his head very seriously (big round eyes) and said "yeaaaahhh....", but still wouldn't go. Oh well, it was worth a shot. We're going through so many diapers the past couple days that it almost reminds us of newborn days. The other day we were at the store and saw the newborn packs of diapers, and I commented, "won't be long before we'll be getting THOSE again..." and Phil said, "There's 96 in the newborn packages! ....Though they go twice as often..."

June 23, 2006
Here comes the all-too familiar refrain: I am SO behind on updating!

I had my last appointment on Tuesday (also the day I started the fifth month -already!- of this pregnancy). So far I've gained one whole pound - ONE - in this pregnancy. Liza told me that I need to try to gain some more weight. (Now that's something I haven't heard since about my second year of college...) I think I'm eating pretty good, well, as good as can be expected with still dealing with nausea. It's not constant or overwhelming anymore, but it's still coming every so often. Enough to be annoying and draining on my body and emotions. Last weekend I felt really sick almost the entire weekend, but most of the time it's just a passing thing. I'm also still dealing with the headaches. They seem to come about once a week, and they last for about two to two and a half days. I've got a small stash of caffeinated pop in my fridge that is my headache medicine. It feels so strange to have sworn off caffeinated pop for so long, and now when I'm pregnant of all things, now I'm drinking it. I just keep telling myself, a few a week is not going to hurt the baby, and I'm not going to get re-addicted to it. I know I'm talking about a can of pop, and not a bottle of wine, but knowing how my body became addicted to the caffeine (and went through such bad withdrawal after stopping my habit), it's not an easy thing to just pop open a can and drink up happily.

I heard the baby's heartbeat again, it was about 160 bpm. It's always good to hear that, and even more reassuring since over the last week or so I've felt the baby move a lot less than I had when I first started feeling the movements around 14 weeks. He/she was REALLY active at first, but now I hardly feel any movements. Maybe I've just been more active, lulling the baby to sleep. Or maybe I just need more of that caffeine. :-)

I think the biggest news that I had to talk about at my last appointment, is the fact that I've already started feeling contractions. I know they're just Braxton-Hicks, because they're just every so often, and not yet consistent (Liza told me to start timing them just to be sure - as she said, "with your history, I don't trust you." I told her, "I don't trust me either.") But it just surprised me to already be feeling them this early. I don't remember feeling them this early with the other two. I'm just amazed, though, every time I feel it because while they aren't painful like labor contractions, they are very noticeable -- my whole belly just gets really tight and hard. When Liza felt where the top of my uterus is now, I told her I knew exactly where it was since I'd been feeling it lately! She told me that Braxton-Hicks contractions can start to be felt around 18 to 20 weeks, so it's a little early for me (...if my dates are correct...) but it's not completely unheard of. Still, it's something to start being aware of. Until my appointment I hadn't been trying to time them or anything, so now I am. Speaking of the question of correct dates, I also had blood drawn at this appointment for the AFP test. The test is for Down's Syndrome or other genetic problems like Trisomy, but the reason I had it done was to get one more confirmation of my due date. If the test comes back abnormal, it not only could indicate a genetic problem (though the test is notorious for giving false indications) but it could also show an incorrect estimated due date. I just want to be as sure as possible about the date. The last thing I want is to go into preterm labor, and have them hold me off for two more weeks (like if I'm supposedly 34 weeks but really 36). So far I haven't heard any result from the test either way.  My next appointment is July 11th - I'll be getting the ultrasound!

Over the last few weeks, Ethan has really started talking a lot more, and he's now regularly stringing two words together. Not really sentences, but he gets his point across. Yesterday he came up to me and told me, while pinching his nose, "Poop. Stinky." He had a poopy diaper that needed changing. And yes, he was right, it was particularly stinky.  I don't know if I've mentioned this on here yet or not, but like Natalie's love for all things purple, Ethan now has his favorites. He LOVES green things, and he loves frogs. (Especially when they're green frogs, of course.) He has a couple stuffed frogs, like the beanie babies, that he carries around with him all the time, and he holds it up and says "GOG!" with much glee, followed by "hop! hop!"

Last week was my birthday, and Phil and I got to go out to a grown-up dinner! (Our first in longer than we can even remember.) My mom watched the kids, and we went to the Melting Pot, which of course is my dinner date location of choice. We ate so much that when we left, I felt like I was about 8 months pregnant instead of almost four. I was afraid that eating so much would make me feel sick to my stomach, but it all stayed happily in my tummy. I guess that's where that one pound weight gain probably came from! 

The whole day, I had a song running through my head that was ingrained in me when I was really, really little. If you know the tune, sing along. And if you don't, well that's just a shame since it's such a GREAT song. (And I know my sister Nan knows it.) "Hey Debby, it's your birthday. I'm in charge of the stars and I'm here to say, Hey Debby, it's your birthday, today! My name is Zoom and I live on the moon, but I came down to earth just to sing you this tune! Hey Debby, it's your birthday! Hey Debby, it's your birthday! Hey Debby, it's your birthday - today!" I don't remember when my sister and I got those birthday records (they were the floppy kind that you had to put pennies on before playing them) but I don't remember a birthday when I was little that I didn't have that song. I have no idea where that record ended up, but it's one of those songs that will be stuck in my head until the day I die. 

Since Phil mentioned once that I never say much about myself on this journal (so my kids will know all about them but nothing much about me except my occasional -OCCASIONAL!- complaints.) :-) I'll take a couple minutes to write some of my most vivid birthday memories. (So just indulge me for a minute - this is for my kids.)  I guess it's just that when you're little, birthdays were still such pivotal days, that the memories of my birthdays are sharper than other things. Probably my earliest memory, other than Captain Zoom and his fabulous song, is seeing a Sesame Street cake that my Grandma Zamrazil made for my birthday. I remember seeing it sitting on the table, but I couldn't touch it until my party. I don't remember if it was Big Bird or Cookie Monster, but it was one of those two. Cookie Monster, probably, since he was my favorite. I remember sticking my finger JUST on the corner of the cake to taste the icing, even though I knew I shouldn't. I think my Grandma Zamrazil and her cakes are the biggest reason that I make all the cakes for my kids' birthdays. I remember seeing her character cakes and loving them so much. Another birthday memory I have, I don't remember how old I was, but it was probably sometime around age 7. My mom took my sister and me to Florida. We stayed at a hotel on the beach, and I remember my sister and myself playing shuffleboard outside. I don't remember much else about the trip except that it was during my birthday, so of course it was a vacation all for me! (Just like every year the country puts out flags to honor me and my birthday...it's all about me, me, me. Oh, and Boy George and Mr. Trump too.) I don't know how she possibly paid for that week's vacation as a single mom with two kids, but I just thought it was the best birthday present ever. How could a trip to Disney World and the beach top any other birthday, ever? When I turned 8, I don't necessarily remember my birthday itself but I will never forget that it was the day I was finally able to open a packet of birthday cards that my whole class made for me. My third grade teacher, Mrs. Bonus, had all the kids make birthday cards for each kid's birthday, but for those of us with summer birthdays, we made them at the end of the school year and they were put into envelopes with the instruction "not to open until your birthday". I was a good girl and waited the whole two weeks. My best friend, Amy, was in my class that year and I remember her card was the best, with the most color all over it. Some of the people who didn't like me made a very boring, pencil-drawn "happy birthday" generic card. That was okay, because for the first time I felt like everyone really was my friend and I wasn't just the geeky kid with the unpopular clothes. I had a card from EVERYONE in the class. Mrs. Bonus was my favorite teacher of all my school years. When I was ten, my mom got me a boom box. I was 80's music-obsessed around that time, so that was such a cool present. It was one of those ones straight out of the 80's - big, bulky, and silver and grey. The kind you saw people carrying around on their shoulders in all the music videos. Boy was I cool now.  The only memory I really have from the preteen or early teen years (besides the fact of every year being disappointed that I once again didn't get a birthday card in the mail from my dad) was when I was probably 14 and mom and Brett made me mow the lawn on my birthday. It was my most hated chore because I was (and am) allergic to grass, so I was really miserable with sneezing, red itchy eyes, and a throat that closed up. And all I could think about while mowing the lawn was how horribly UNFAIR it was to be forced to do such a thing on my birthday. Boo hoo hoo. I guess I thought my birthday always entitled me to a day of no responsibilities or work. (And a decade and a half later, I still have that thought, but YEAH RIGHT!) I don't have too many other vivid birthday memories through high school and college, or even our early marriage years. I probably went out to dinner a lot, and oh yeah, that one year when I turned 21 and experienced my first (uhh...yeah) time getting really sick. I did get particularly sick, though, and it wasn't because I drank a lot. I went to a Jimmy Buffet concert, and had one margarita. Tequila didn't sit well with me. At all. I never had another margarita after that night. 

Last year I had a pool party for my 30th birthday. Now it seems a little strange that I'm truly, "IN my 30's". The only other June 14 memory I have that is truly ingrained in me is my birthday of 2001. That was the day I knew my life was about to change drastically. It was the day I found out that Natalie was on the way!

June 8, 2006
Several things of note have happened lately, but I just haven't had (or made the time for) updating the journal!

Earlier this week I was getting out of the shower. The kids had been sitting in our room watching PBS while I had my shower time. I'd given them each a box of raisins to snack on before I got in the shower. As I was toweling off, Ethan came over to me, pointing up his left nostril. I noticed he had a little bit of blood (just pink tinged snot, really) on his pointing/picking finger, so I went in to investigate. He had what looked to be a big booger stuck up his nose, so I began to get it out. Then I realized, that isn't a booger. It's a raisin. He'd stuck an entire raisin up his nose. I'd heard about kids who stuck things up their noses, but up until now I'd not had a kid actually do it. Yes, I was able to extract it.

This afternoon we were driving home and Natalie was, as usual, singing a song. This time it was a song from Madame Blueberry (Veggie Tales) - "I'm so blue-hoo-hoo, blue-hoo-hoo, blue hoo-hoo-hoo, I'm so blue I don't know what to do." To which Bob and Larry then echo her back, "She's so blue-hoo-hoo, blue-hoo-hoo, blue hoo-hoo-hoo, she's so blue she don't know what to do." So that's what Natalie was singing, and I was singing along with her. Until I got to the ungrammatical part, where "she don't know what to do". She stopped me and said "That's not how it goes Mom. It's DOESN'T!" And then she went on to sing the song in grammatically correct form, as "She's so blue she doesn't know what to do!"  A girl after my own heart - she'd rather sacrifice song meter for grammatical accuracy. So take THAT, Big Idea!

I've been feeling much better. Remarkably better, with the exception of this past weekend, when I had a bit of a relapse. I've been feeling almost normal again (though my energy level has yet to return). I had a couple hamburgers lately from different sources, and they haven't been sitting well with my stomach. On Sunday after church we had Wendy's (again) and of course I had forgotten that hamburgers weren't doing so good with me and I ordered my old standby. I felt a little yucky all afternoon, and then I woke up at about 2 am that night and threw up. After all the weeks of feeling so horrible but never throwing up, to feeling pretty good, but then this surprise. It must have been one last hurrah. (I hope.) It was either a cumulative effect of too many hamburgers in one weekend... or it could be the huge bucket of popcorn that I wolfed down when Phil and I went out to see a movie (alone!) on Sunday evening... Ethan and Natalie stayed with my friend Ashley. Ethan fell down a few stairs while they were there (he has been getting a little overconfident lately when stepping down stairs) but he was fine. It's amazing, if I were to fall down two or three stairs I'd be off my feet for a week or more. Ethan had just a barely visible booboo on his head.

The early part of this week my stomach still felt a little sensitive, but it seems fine now. I'm also still struggling with pretty bad headaches. I was given a prescription for a safe headache medicine, but my insurance didn't cover it and I didn't want to pay full price for it, so I didn't get it filled. If I really need it I still have the prescription waiting. My headache lasted just over two days again this week, just like it has the previous times. This time it did finally go away with taking Tylenol all day chased with a can of caffeinated pop.

Last Tuesday was my latest baby appointment. We (well, Natalie, Ethan and me) heard the heartbeat for the first time! It was about 170 bpm. Liza (my midwife that I like so far the best) said that my uterus has definitely popped above my pelvic bone now. At my next appointment (June 20 I think) we're going to do the AFP test. I didn't get this done with Ethan or Natalie, because really the only reason for it is to find out if the baby has down's syndrome, and I just don't care either way - it's not like that would make this any less a baby if he or she wasn't "perfect"! - but one of the other things that the AFP test will confirm is a due date. Since I'm just still not convinced about when this pregnancy started, I want to hopefully find that out with more accuracy. I don't want to get to the last month of pregnancy, when I most likely will be having preterm labor, and they make me hold on for two weeks later than I really have to just because my due date is off. So I'll do the test - it's just another blood draw, so there's no risk to the baby for the test. So then three weeks after that appointment I'll be having our next ultrasound! And yes, we really hope to find out if it's a boy or girl!