November27

November 27, 2001

Week 28

Well, we made it through yet another Thanksgiving weekend. Last night (the second anniversary of my dad's accident) I was telling Phil how sometimes during the past weekend I stopped to think and realized I hadn't thought about my dad's accident that much at all, and I know I thought about it a lot less this year than last year at this time. I'm glad in most ways, but it still feels like I should think about it more than I do, being that it was only two years ago! Maybe because I do still have to think about it, day in and day out, to deal with papers and forms and such for the estate, it's hard to get it out of my mind anyway, so it's always something that is there. The only thing that really got me yesterday was thinking about how Natalie would never meet my dad. Despite the fact that he had a lot of faults, it still hurts that she'll only know him by pictures. Lots of times I wonder how much she'll look like him, too, like I do. I remember thinking when I got married how excited I would be and what I would say when I called to tell him he had a grandbaby on the way. I know he would have been so happy. I did do a little something last night though, that I wanted to do anyway but it could be considered something of a memorial: for dinner I made little knedlichs and soup. Only instead of chicken (which I can't eat anyway!) I used some leftover turkey. The soup turned out good, I also had leftover celery and carrots from a veggie tray I had brought to my friend April's house for a party last weekend (those are two vegetables I'd never normally have in my kitchen!!) so I added that to the broth and it was really yummy! (No, I didn't eat any of the carrots though, I gave them ALL to Phil!)

I also baked chocolate chip cookies last night. And then got on the scale before bed. Big mistake. I think I've only gained about a pound since my appointment last Monday, which is fine (and especially good considering this past weekend was Thanksgiving!), but it just shocked me to see the scale flirt with a whole new set of numbers for the first time - as it bounced back to around 185, it did get awfully close to 200. Ughhh. Intellectually, from the beginning I knew this was going to happen, I started out this pregnancy above what I should weigh anyway, at 165, so with a 25 to 30 pound weight gain I should have known I would eventually see these numbers, but it was still such a shock to actually see that number show up on the dial for the first time! It didn't stay there, thank goodness (I can't even imagine what Dr. Teague would say to me if I jumped up that much in the last two weeks!!) but it did bounce awfully close. I do probably eat a few too many snacks, like popcorn and my ever-present peanut butter crackers, but mostly I eat a lot of fruit, yogurt and applesauce, and I still can't get enough of broccoli, so I know I'm not doing TOO bad with it (I write as I sit here next to a ziploc with some chocolate chip cookies that I baked last night) :) So far anyway, my weight gain really has been all belly. I haven't noticed much difference anywhere else (well, with the exception of another area that just continues to expand too, for the first time in my life), and I'm glad the stretch marks I've gotten have been pretty much completely confined to my belly area. I haven't noticed any new ones of those for the last few weeks either, the ones I have just seem to be getting a little darker now. It's not that they look really terrible, and I'm starting to get used to it, but I (unlike some friends of mine) certainly won't be taking any belly pictures without clothes covering my belly though!! :) I remember when I used to think about being pregnant, I thought for sure that I would be one of those people who carried "all-around", making me look big all over, but so far anyway I seem to be growing more and more just right out front. But the out front area is definitely growing bigger and a LOT more solid, daily it seems I wake up looking even bigger than the day before, and I'm starting to be able to distinguish hard and soft parts of the baby by poking around too, so she's growing all the time. I certainly had nothing at all to worry about with her not moving around a week or so ago, ever since last Monday when I went to the doctor she's been extremely active. Two nights ago (Sunday) was a new one, too. Phil and I were sitting on the couch watching TV when all of a sudden she kicked, flipped, or otherwise moved so quickly that it felt like I was punched in the gut. I even made that "UghhN!" sigh like you make when you get the wind knocked out of you. I'm sure I'll start to get used to feeling movements like that too, but it was such a sudden and different movement that it surprised me. And then she kept that up when we went to bed, it felt like she was in there doing cartwheels or somersaults or something, so I didn't fall asleep for a long time that night. It was funny too, after awhile, Phil put his hand on my belly and almost right away she stopped moving. He kept his hand there for about five minutes or so, and she was very still the whole time (poor Phil still hasn't gotten to feel her move but a few times because she always does this!) but wouldn't you know it, just as soon as he took his hand away and rolled back over to try to go to sleep, she started it up again. I don't know what time I finally fell asleep that night, but it was really late. I just couldn't sleep with being continually punched in my gut! :)

Oh, speaking of Phil feeling her move, this is a really funny thing that happened: last week we were watching an updated Miracle of Life presentation on PBS (it was SO good, and I was bawling at the end when they showed the babies around Natalie's age and then when they showed a birth!) and in it they followed one couple through their whole pregnancy. The dad made a comment at one point that he liked to get up close to his wife's belly and make whale noises, and he demonstrated what he did. I thought that was really strange, but then later Phil and were again sitting on the couch (we really do other things than that sometimes!) and she wouldn't move around for him again. So he put his mouth right up against my belly and made the whale noise, and boy, Natalie just jumped SO hard that it felt like we woke her up out of a deep sleep and she threw both arms and legs out in surprise (like the startle reflex I'm sure she doesn't actually have that much room to do that these days, but that's what it felt like). Phil definitely felt her move THAT time!! (So, sorry, Natalie, if we scared you - it really was just Daddy and not a big whale, and he did it because you wouldn't let him feel you move around!) Phil also lately has started singing to her every so often. We're trying to find a good song for him to sing that can be just "theirs" though, but he hasn't found one he's happy with. I just like it when he talks to her anytime anyway though. She hears me all the time, so I want her to know his voice too.

Overall, Thanksgiving weekend was really good, we ate way too much (and then they gave me ALL the leftovers to take home, thanks a lot - Mom told me she was going to come over and take half the food the next day, but then when she came over she ended up pretty much just taking half the mashed potatoes!!) I was really happy that I was able to eat turkey without a problem at all - I was a little nervous since it's a poultry, but I never once felt sick after eating it! Nan came into town so it was nice to see her, but I do admit that I miss the big family holiday get-togethers that we used to have growing up, when everyone lived pretty close to each other. I always really enjoyed getting together with everyone, and having my cousin Stevi around to play with the whole time. I hope Natalie gets to experience that at least some times, especially eventually having brothers or sisters and cousins around to play with, but it's going to be harder with our family being so scattered anymore. I also hope to be able to visit with Phil's side of the family more often once we have Natalie and her future siblings, but they live so far away too. One thing's for sure though, next year at this time we're going to be getting really excited to see Natalie experience her first Christmas! So far this season I just can't help thinking about how things are going to be different next year. She'll be close to a year old by then, so hopefully she'll realize at least a little of what is going on!



	November 27, 2001 Week 28 Well, we made it through yet another Thanksgiving weekend. Last night (the second anniversary of my dad's accident) I was telling Phil how sometimes during the past weekend I stopped to think and realized I hadn't thought about my dad's accident that much at all, and I know I thought about it a lot less this year than last year at this time. I'm glad in most ways, but it still feels like I should think about it more than I do, being that it was only two years ago! Maybe because I do still have to think about it, day in and day out, to deal with papers and forms and such for the estate, it's hard to get it out of my mind anyway, so it's always something that is there. The only thing that really got me yesterday was thinking about how Natalie would never meet my dad. Despite the fact that he had a lot of faults, it still hurts that she'll only know him by pictures. Lots of times I wonder how much she'll look like him, too, like I do. I remember thinking when I got married how excited I would be and what I would say when I called to tell him he had a grandbaby on the way. I know he would have been so happy. I did do a little something last night though, that I wanted to do anyway but it could be considered something of a memorial: for dinner I made little knedlichs and soup. Only instead of chicken (which I can't eat anyway!) I used some leftover turkey. The soup turned out good, I also had leftover celery and carrots from a veggie tray I had brought to my friend April's house for a party last weekend (those are two vegetables I'd never normally have in my kitchen!!) so I added that to the broth and it was really yummy! (No, I didn't eat any of the carrots though, I gave them ALL to Phil!) I also baked chocolate chip cookies last night. And then got on the scale before bed. Big mistake. I think I've only gained about a pound since my appointment last Monday, which is fine (and especially good considering this past weekend was Thanksgiving!), but it just shocked me to see the scale flirt with a whole new set of numbers for the first time - as it bounced back to around 185, it did get awfully close to 200. Ughhh. Intellectually, from the beginning I knew this was going to happen, I started out this pregnancy above what I should weigh anyway, at 165, so with a 25 to 30 pound weight gain I should have known I would eventually see these numbers, but it was still such a shock to actually see that number show up on the dial for the first time! It didn't stay there, thank goodness (I can't even imagine what Dr. Teague would say to me if I jumped up that much in the last two weeks!!) but it did bounce awfully close. I do probably eat a few too many snacks, like popcorn and my ever-present peanut butter crackers, but mostly I eat a lot of fruit, yogurt and applesauce, and I still can't get enough of broccoli, so I know I'm not doing TOO bad with it (I write as I sit here next to a ziploc with some chocolate chip cookies that I baked last night) :) So far anyway, my weight gain really has been all belly. I haven't noticed much difference anywhere else (well, with the exception of another area that just continues to expand too, for the first time in my life), and I'm glad the stretch marks I've gotten have been pretty much completely confined to my belly area. I haven't noticed any new ones of those for the last few weeks either, the ones I have just seem to be getting a little darker now. It's not that they look really terrible, and I'm starting to get used to it, but I (unlike some friends of mine) certainly won't be taking any belly pictures without clothes covering my belly though!! :) I remember when I used to think about being pregnant, I thought for sure that I would be one of those people who carried "all-around", making me look big all over, but so far anyway I seem to be growing more and more just right out front. But the out front area is definitely growing bigger and a LOT more solid, daily it seems I wake up looking even bigger than the day before, and I'm starting to be able to distinguish hard and soft parts of the baby by poking around too, so she's growing all the time. I certainly had nothing at all to worry about with her not moving around a week or so ago, ever since last Monday when I went to the doctor she's been extremely active. Two nights ago (Sunday) was a new one, too. Phil and I were sitting on the couch watching TV when all of a sudden she kicked, flipped, or otherwise moved so quickly that it felt like I was punched in the gut. I even made that "UghhN!" sigh like you make when you get the wind knocked out of you. I'm sure I'll start to get used to feeling movements like that too, but it was such a sudden and different movement that it surprised me. And then she kept that up when we went to bed, it felt like she was in there doing cartwheels or somersaults or something, so I didn't fall asleep for a long time that night. It was funny too, after awhile, Phil put his hand on my belly and almost right away she stopped moving. He kept his hand there for about five minutes or so, and she was very still the whole time (poor Phil still hasn't gotten to feel her move but a few times because she always does this!) but wouldn't you know it, just as soon as he took his hand away and rolled back over to try to go to sleep, she started it up again. I don't know what time I finally fell asleep that night, but it was really late. I just couldn't sleep with being continually punched in my gut! :) Oh, speaking of Phil feeling her move, this is a really funny thing that happened: last week we were watching an updated Miracle of Life presentation on PBS (it was SO good, and I was bawling at the end when they showed the babies around Natalie's age and then when they showed a birth!) and in it they followed one couple through their whole pregnancy. The dad made a comment at one point that he liked to get up close to his wife's belly and make whale noises, and he demonstrated what he did. I thought that was really strange, but then later Phil and were again sitting on the couch (we really do other things than that sometimes!) and she wouldn't move around for him again. So he put his mouth right up against my belly and made the whale noise, and boy, Natalie just jumped SO hard that it felt like we woke her up out of a deep sleep and she threw both arms and legs out in surprise (like the startle reflex I'm sure she doesn't actually have that much room to do that these days, but that's what it felt like). Phil definitely felt her move THAT time!! (So, sorry, Natalie, if we scared you - it really was just Daddy and not a big whale, and he did it because you wouldn't let him feel you move around!) Phil also lately has started singing to her every so often. We're trying to find a good song for him to sing that can be just "theirs" though, but he hasn't found one he's happy with. I just like it when he talks to her anytime anyway though. She hears me all the time, so I want her to know his voice too. Overall, Thanksgiving weekend was really good, we ate way too much (and then they gave me ALL the leftovers to take home, thanks a lot - Mom told me she was going to come over and take half the food the next day, but then when she came over she ended up pretty much just taking half the mashed potatoes!!) I was really happy that I was able to eat turkey without a problem at all - I was a little nervous since it's a poultry, but I never once felt sick after eating it! Nan came into town so it was nice to see her, but I do admit that I miss the big family holiday get-togethers that we used to have growing up, when everyone lived pretty close to each other. I always really enjoyed getting together with everyone, and having my cousin Stevi around to play with the whole time. I hope Natalie gets to experience that at least some times, especially eventually having brothers or sisters and cousins around to play with, but it's going to be harder with our family being so scattered anymore. I also hope to be able to visit with Phil's side of the family more often once we have Natalie and her future siblings, but they live so far away too. One thing's for sure though, next year at this time we're going to be getting really excited to see Natalie experience her first Christmas! So far this season I just can't help thinking about how things are going to be different next year. She'll be close to a year old by then, so hopefully she'll realize at least a little of what is going on!