The first is what I'm calling Portrait of a Two Year Old. Unfortunately the picture is a little fuzzy; I was just getting over a contraction so maybe my hands were shaking a little bit. It's still very cute. Note the one (only one) high-heel dress up shoe, upside down sunglasses, dress up bead necklace, and two standard toys-in-arms these days: the squishy (green, of course) ball and Henry the Octopus toy. If this isn't THE picture of a two year old, I don't know what is.

This next one happened last night. For whatever reason,  for the past few nights Ethan has been having real trouble going to sleep, and lately his complaint is "too dark", even though we've put a brighter nightlight in his room and it's not dark at all. (We think he just wants it to be as bright as his "nap time" -haha- when he can get up and read books.) So for the past couple nights, instead of wandering around the living room or coming down the stairs where Phil and I are, he's been found going into Natalie's room, usually irritating her by keeping her awake. Last night, as usual Phil had to go back upstairs a couple times to get him back to his own room, but then things got pretty quickly quiet. Because of the colds that we have, we still heard coughing on the monitor, but it sounded like it wasn't quite right there coming from Ethan's room. Phil said, "I bet he's in Natalie's room again." But we didn't hear much movement so Phil didn't want to run back up there again right away. About an hour later, it was quiet, so that's when we usually decide to head back up the stairs to get snacks for the evening. I went over to the kitchen to get a drink refill (I'm using my big St. Ann's measured water jug these days to ensure that I really am drinking a ton), and Phil went to check on the kids. He then called out in his loud whisper, "Debby! Come here!" He called out a couple times for me to come quickly (a funny prospect these days since I don't go anywhere fast). I peeked around the corner and Phil was getting the camera to take a picture in Natalie's room. I'm really surprised that the flash didn't wake one or both kids up.

Yep, the boy had fallen asleep on Natalie's big puffy purple pillow, which she keeps on the floor next to her bed (in case she rolls out of bed, I guess). As you can see, there's Cat right there with him. I guess he just wanted to have sleepover last night. Phil brought him a blanket, and he slept there most of the night. (At some point he must have come in next to me, because when I woke up at 4:00 for my potty break - an hour earlier than usual because of the time change - he was there between Phil and I.) This picture is just so cute. 

I also love that Natalie is snuggled up with my old baby doll. We got it down a week ago because the kids went to a Siblings class at St. Ann's (a week ago we were still planning on going there, of course), and they needed a true-to-size baby doll for the class. All of Natalie and Ethan's dolls are smaller, so I used mine even though it probably hadn't had a bath in about 25 years. It's so ratty - at some point I gave the baby a hair cut, and did a stellar job at it. Her face is perpetually black with grime, and her outfit was stained with all manner of icky things. I say "was", because on Tuesday when the kids went to my mom's for the evening while Phil and I toured Riverside, my mom decided it was probably a good idea for the baby to have a bath and her gown washed. Her face looks a little better, but still pretty dirty, but at least her little gown is looking much better. Natalie has been dragging it with her around the house all week. I didn't know she was snuggling up with it at night, though.

Lately Natalie has been acting like she's virtually helpless. I don't know if this is an early reaction to having a new baby, or the fact that I'm not very mobile right now, but I don't have any other idea where this would be coming from. She can't tie her shoes yet, but she's had no problem getting her shoes, or socks or other things, at least on for quite some time. Now she insists, with many tears and trauma, that she can't do it. She "needs" my help. When I insist that she put on her own socks, she gets them onto her toes, but refuses to pull them all the way on. Last night at dinner she pouted, big crocodile tears in her eyes, for a good ten minutes, insisting that I needed to mix up her rice and butter for her, that she just couldn't do it. 

True we HAD been asking her to help out a lot more around here, but even though I ask she hasn't been all that helpful, so I've really not be asking her to do too much more than normal. (I'd like her to be more helpful, by getting Ethan's diapers, or fetching other things for me, but she's refusing to most of the time, so, since I am so tired of arguing with her about it, I've stopped asking very often.) I'm still up and down a lot more than I'd like to be during the days. I've been finding lately that even sitting fully upright in a chair, I start having lots of contractions. (For instance, right now I'm sitting at my desk in my office chair, but I'm reclining in it as far back as I can. But I can't do this for more than about 20 to 30 minutes at a time.) So most of the time, lately, I've been sticking to true "bed rest" and laying down, either on my bed or on the couch. Laying down seems to be the only thing that helps, I guess just because it takes pressure off of my cervix. The pressure is really bad now, when I sit fully up. (Let alone stand or walk - ouch!) The other day the baby had hiccups and instead of feeling them at the top of my uterus, I felt each little rhythmic thump right on my pubic bone. This little girl is going to have a cone-shaped head, I predict. By Friday I started really getting stir crazy. I got a couple of magazines, and Phil picked up a couple more books for me yesterday at the library, so that's been helping a little bit. I would watch TV, but as long as it's on during the day it's generally either on PBS or watching the kids' videos. A couple times I've gotten them to go downstairs to watch their videos on the downstairs TV while I'm able to lay in bed and watch Price is Right or something else in my room, but typically they won't go downstairs unless I go with them.

Hopefully I won't have to do this too much longer. I'll be 35 weeks on Tuesday. Liza is also planning on re-running the fetal fibronectin test at my appointment Tuesday. I don't know how much longer I'll have to stay immobile, but hopefully after about this week I can start getting around again at least some. It's been really driving me crazy that my favorite apple farm has my favorite apple right now, the winesap, and I can't get over there to get any. Last year I must have made about two apple pies a week, and so far this fall I've made one, in early September. It was good, but this month my favorite pie apples are available and all month long I've been thinking about them! 

October 25, 2006
I guess we'll be going to Riverside. We did the tour last night, and it is...well, fine. It definitely doesn't have that home-y feel, like St. Ann's does (with its women's pavilion entrance that keeps you from going into the main hospital at all), and it feels a lot more like a hospital than I would like, but other than aesthetics, the place has everything that we are needing, and everything else is pretty much the same. They don't have any rooms with labor tubs, but really, what are the chances that I'd actually get to use one anyway? I've tried that the past two times, and it never worked out. My biggest concern this time is just getting to the hospital in time. Everything else is just bonus. It is true that anyone can walk through the floor at any time, but I was assured that their security is very good, and they've not had any issues. They are also very much into skin-on-skin postpartum time. They have the warming tables right there in the room, just like St. Ann's, but she said they actually do a lot of the directly-after birth things with the baby laying right on the mom's chest, instead of the warming table.

So, we're feeling a lot more comfortable with this change of plans now. The thing I'm worrying most about is just getting there. It will likely be fine, and if this one happens like the other two, I'll go into (full) labor in the early evening, but I keep thinking about just what I would do if my water broke in the middle of the day. In the best circumstance, Phil's office is about 10 to 15 minutes away (when there's no traffic), but he's often downtown in court - where he doesn't necessarily have access to his phone, either. My mom and other family are across town, as are the great majority of my friends. So if I go into a sudden, fast labor, I'm just hoping it will be at a good time that Phil is home. Otherwise, well, I might be driving myself to the hospital (with the kids)!

I think Ethan and I are coming down with colds today. He's been really cranky all day, and has a bit of a runny nose. I've been sneezing and blowing my nose all day, too.  It just came all of a sudden today, too. When I went to bed last night, Ethan was acting normal, and I had nothing more than my standard "normal" runny nose, which I've had since second trimester started. Maybe our lack of sleep (mine and Ethan's) is making us more susceptible to catching a cold. This morning, of course, Ethan woke up at the crack of dawn, even though we were all out late last night. This morning, as usual, I woke up for my early-morning trip to the bathroom (which seems to always come between 4:30 and 5:30 am, no matter what time I go to bed). Usually after getting up, I climb back in bed and am able to fall back asleep within a few minutes. For the last week, it's been increasingly difficult to fall back asleep, and there have been several times I've laid there tossing and turning, trying to find a somewhat comfortable position, for about an hour. This morning I never did fall back asleep. I think it's a combination of the low pain I'm having, which makes laying in any position uncomfortable, even with my abundance of pillows, and the fact that I just can't turn my brain off these days. I don't know why, in that early morning hour, I happen to get every dumb song stuck in my head and every possible thing to think about running around. Phil's alarm went off this morning, and then Ethan woke up wanting "more milk! more milk!" right away as usual, and that was the end of my hopes to get in an hour more of sleep. As much as I know that life is a -relative- piece of cake right now compared with once we have a newborn around again, I'm almost looking forward to being woken up for an early morning nursing session instead of the trips to the bathroom. At least when I'm woken up to nurse, I get that side benefit of the oxytocin rush that tends to knock me right back out to sleep within a few minutes!

October 24, 2006
Here's today's appointment update. 

When Liza first came in, she took one look at me and said, "the baby has dropped!" Well, that would explain why the pain and pressure down low has just been increasing lately. She checked my cervix, and it's still at about 3 cm, which is good that it hasn't changed in the past week at least that way, but she confirmed that it's now completely open (instead of funneled to closed), and I'm now at about 75% effacement. (A week ago at the hospital I was 50%.) And the scariest part of all, is that she told me the baby is at about a 0 station. Optimistically, she said maybe she could call it around a +1, but that really she's pretty much at 0. For those who have not been through this before, a "0 station" means there's no farther she can drop down before she starts coming out. At this point, in other words, as soon as I dilate enough, I'll be having this baby. She read through my labor plan, and when she got to the note about me wanting to avoid pitocin if at all possible, she just laughed and said, "you probably won't be needing any pitocin."

So that's the news on the progression. The other bit of news I got today is something Dr. Kelley never mentioned and I never thought to ask about. I found out that I can't deliver at St. Ann's and get my tubal there at the same time. It's a Catholic hospital, and they don't do any form of birth control. I never even thought about that. I was asking Liza about how the timing of the surgery would work, since they can often do the procedure right there in the delivery room, but if I deliver so fast that I don't get an epidural (which could realistically happen this time!), I was wondering how that would work -- if the surgery would still be right away, or if it would be a day later, or what. She said, "Dr. Kelley didn't mention this to you? If you deliver at St. Ann's, you won't be able to get it done at all!" So if I end up going to St. Ann's, then I'll have to wait until 6 to 8 weeks later, once everything has shrunk back down and all bleeding has stopped, and then go to Riverside, for the tubal. After researching all about it these past several months, I wanted to have it done quickly postpartum, because the tubes are pushed right up there by my belly so it's a much (MUCH) less invasive procedure. And additionally, I'm going to be losing my current insurance coverage at 6 weeks postpartum, so I'd like to have it done while I still know for sure that it will be covered. (Of course, then, since I won't be pregnant anymore, Phil and I will actually be able to get private insurance again -- as I think I've written about before, no one will cover us  - or even Phil by himself - while I'm pregnant, even without asking for maternity coverage. We've been flat out denied, as long as I'm pregnant. It's so ridiculous.)  I'm feeling really strange about the whole situation, because I've never even considered going anywhere else, and especially Riverside -- it's one of the busiest hospitals for maternity, so apparently it's really good, but every time I've ever visited there, it just felt much more like a sterile hospital setting. When I visited a friend there in August who had a baby, I was really surprised by several things that made it feel so much more like a hospital then I like. For instance, they don't have any check-in for guests. Anyone can wander around the maternity floor. St. Ann's makes guests check in, and they have a sticker to wear that says where they are supposed to be. I like that; I don't really like the idea that anyone can walk in off the street and come to my room. My friend Emma told me today that they do have a good security system for the babies, that they are all tagged, but I still feel uncomfortable. I also want to find out if the postpartum rooms are private, because I do not want to share a room, and for labor I want to make sure the rooms are comfortable. I'd like the option of having a water tub for labor (again, unless my labor goes so fast that the only goal will be getting to the hospital and not having an unscheduled home or car birth!) I'm just glad I asked about this now, and so found out about it, instead of when I go in to deliver.

I called Riverside a little while ago, and I got scheduled for a hospital tour for this evening. I plan on asking lots of questions!! I made sure that I would have a wheelchair available to me for the tour. We're going to take the kids over to my mom's house and Phil can wheel me around for the tour.

I'm thinking I might have Phil take another belly picture of me tonight, for 34 weeks. At this point, though I hope to, I don't know if I'd even make it another two weeks until the next month picture, and I'd really like to have a picture of my belly, this LAST time I'll have this belly, when I'm looking as big as a house. Which is how I feel now! I'm thinking I might put on the same black shirt that I wore for the 12 week/3 month photo, just for humor and comparison. I doubt it will even fit all the way over my belly. I know those cute denim maternity jeans I wore in that picture are in no way fitting me anymore. I tried them on about a month ago, when it first starting getting a little cooler and I was looking into wearing long pants again, and they wouldn't even go up my hips. I'm now officially in the "whatever is comfortable" phase -- that is, stretch pants. (And for the past few days, even my biggest maternity jeans with the huge full panel are uncomfortable, because of the jeans digging in right where the baby's head is apparently sitting.) Stretch pants, then: so attractive, especially with my slip-on green size 11 shoes. But do I really care at this point? Not a bit!

Oh, and my next appointment is scheduled for next Tuesday. I'm now on the one-week rotation. 

October 23, 2006
Just what do you do when you have a two year old who still desperately needs a daily nap, but for the last week has been refusing to take one? For the first half of last week, I spent a good hour every afternoon chasing the boy back into his room, to his bed, only to have him get up again five minutes later, over and over again, for a solid hour, before I gave up and just made him stay in his room reading books. By Wednesday of last week I was really tired of playing this game, not to mention that it was forcing me off of my bed or couch rest and I decided I just couldn't keep it up. So, from the second half of last week, he hasn't taken a nap. He's had "quiet time" in his room, but he's not sleeping, which is really what he needs. The first solution is, of course, that he just needs to go to bed earlier. That worked fine this weekend, but on weekdays, Phil regularly doesn't get home until well into the evening, and by the time we have supper, it's usually going on 8:00 (or later). So if they are to see Daddy at all, they can't really go to bed earlier than they already are. But he's still getting up at his bright and shiny early hour of the morning. The result, though, is that Ethan is a tired mess by the time we sit down to eat dinner. He starts breaking down at about 7:00. It makes for very stressful evenings around here lately. I just don't understand what caused him to suddenly switch. For months he's gone right down for his nap with just a mild, brief protest, before snuggling right down in his bed (with froggy in one hand and cat in the other) and he'd almost be out before I left his room.

Now I can't get him to stay in bed for anything. He's doing this at bed time, too, but even though it's frustrating him completely, Phil is at least able to keep going back up stairs to put him back into bed. (Tears, tears, tears, but after a few rounds of it Ethan usually settles down and goes to sleep.) I think for naptime he knows there is little I can do about it, because I really need to be laying down, but why the sudden change? He's been such a good napper. I just don't know what I can do differently. He really needs more sleep, because the boy just totally loses it every night.

This past week has been pretty much more of the same as far as the contractions stuff -- just enough that I'm feeling pretty exhausted all the time. On Saturday we had our church's Fall Fest, with games and such for kids, and since Natalie and Ethan had been looking forward to it, I just couldn't see keeping them home. Phil had to work at it, so I had him take a stationary, sitting position, and I took his place while he took the kids around. By the end of the evening I was really exhausted, though, even though I never left my chair, and when I got home my contractions were back up to about 10 minutes apart. I called the doctor to see if I could be called in a prescription for the Terbutaline, but they told me that I'd have to go into L&D to get that. But as long as the contractions didn't come any closer together than 10 minutes, then they thought it would be okay. They never went closer than that 10 minute interval, but it stayed like that through yesterday afternoon. Today it's been a little better. Hopefully going to dance class here in a few minutes won't set things off again like last week.

I will be 34 weeks tomorrow, and I've got my next appointment in the morning. 

October 17, 2006
I just read in my afternoon news headlines that the U.S. population just officially went over the 300 million mark this morning at about 7:45. (Number 200 million was in the 1960's.) We just might well have seen the mom having that 300 millionth American last night. I cut yesterday's journal short because it was time for me to get Natalie ready to go to dance class. As I was getting her ready (a frustrating 45 minutes of finding tights and leotard, getting her to change into them, find her dance shoes, find and then keep Ethan's shoes on, and get everyone out the door for a 20 minute drive into Canal Winchester) my energy level really started to plummet and the low pain I'd been having for the last couple days, that I wrote about yesterday, just got much worse. It hurt even just to stand up. So I called the doctor on my drive to dance class, and they wanted me to go into L&D to get checked out. I hadn't been feeling too many contractions, but that low pain was really bad. (The contractions I did have were the "catch your breath" kind, but not what I consider to be the "biggies", and they really weren't regular.) 

I sat through dance class, and then met Phil at home for a quick dinner, and then we got to St. Ann's at about 7:30. I was put on the monitor, and I was having some contractions that were decent size, but they weren't really regular. And for whatever reason, my blood pressure was really up. Usually it runs around 100, but when I got there it was around 135. So I was monitored for about an hour or so. They ran a urine test, too, to see if my contractions were being caused by a UTI. Well, that came back clear. As I continued to lay there being monitored, as seems to be the case with me lately, the contractions increased as the night wore on. Finally the doctor on duty was out of a C-section, so at about 10:30 I was finally seen by him. He did the fetal fibronectin test, which I am very familiar with, and then also checked my cervix again. The good news is that I hadn't gotten any farther dilated in centimeters, but now it's fully open all the way through. (Last Tuesday it was 3 cm, but "funneled to closed".) He was able to put his finger on the baby's head. He did say that she's still pretty high up, so we still don't really have any idea what's causing the low pain. As we waited for the FFN test to come back, my blood pressure went down to almost normal levels, which made me feel relieved, but the contractions were now coming very regularly, about five minutes apart. Not good. None were what I consider to be "biggies", but they definitely caught my breath, and you could tell on the chart that they were getting up there in intensity. (Which really makes me wonder just how intense, according to the charts, the big ones that I do have occasionally really are!) 

By this point, the kids were really breaking down, so we called my mom to come in so that Phil could take the kids home and to bed. At this point I had no idea when I'd be going home. If the FFN test came back positive, they told me they would be giving me a steroid for the baby's lungs, and I'd have to stay overnight. So the kids left with Phil, and my mom and I just continued to wait for the test results. It thankfully came back negative, meaning that I am not in imminent danger of delivering in the next several days, but now they were concerned about the contractions that I was having so regularly. At about midnight I got a shot of the terbutaline in my arm. My contractions almost instantly flattened out to nothing! I still continued to have little "blips" that showed up at close to the same intervals as I'd been having the strong contractions, but they never got very high or lasted longer than a few seconds. So it did its job - but once again, it made me all shaky! And my belly really started jumping around too! I lad to lay there for another hour, and then I got to go home. (Mom and I left a little after 1 am.) 

What this little visit to L&D really did for me was make me realize just how much more seriously I need to take the bed rest. It's not like I've been ignoring it, but it has really been hard, the wedding aside, just daily things of taking care of Natalie and Ethan. Last night they told me flat out, that if I couldn't do rest sufficiently at home, and I continued to progress in the next week or two, they would have no problem making me stay at the hospital. I just can't imagine how that would work, with the kids. Phil's working a lot of long hours these days, usually six days a week, many times including multiple trips downtown for court appearances, and when you're self-employed there's no such thing as paid time off, so it's not like he could just drop everything and watch the kids while I laid around at the hospital. 

I wasn't given a prescription for more terbutaline, hoping that the one shot would continue to quiet things down for awhile. Today I've been having very mild, irregular ones, much like yesterday,  but if they get even a little stronger again tonight like last night, I'm going to call my doctor's office and just ask them to send me in a prescription. It really seemed to do the trick last night; even though I was all shaky, the contractions really settled down quickly so I'd rather have the shakiness and the baby jumping all around then continue to have these contractions and have her come too early. The doctor told me last night that since I'm 33 weeks today, they really just want to see me get two more weeks, then everything after that is just icing on the cake. Especially since both my other two have been early but healthy, if I make it to at least 35 weeks he said they likely wouldn't stop the labor. I do want to get as far along as possible, though. Ethan was a big boy at almost 37 weeks (8 pounds 7 ounces), so he was fine, and Natalie was pretty big at 36 weeks too (7 pounds 1 ounce), but she was so sleepy and had jaundice, which happens a lot when they are early. 

Today I haven't done much at all. I did do a round of dishes because there was not a single plate or kid cup left clean in the house, but except for the few clean dishes I had to put away out of the dishwasher (it was mostly empty since the counter was full of dirty dishes) I pulled a chair over to the sink and managed to get most of the dishes into the dishwasher by sitting in the chair.  And then Ethan did his normal, frustrating 45-minute fight for naptime again, so I had to keep getting up to get him back to bed. (Especially when I know he didn't get to bed until 11:30, but was still up at his bright and early time, I knew he really needed his nap!) Other than that, I've been really trying my best to either stay on the couch, or at least in a chair. I spent most of the morning laying in bed, while the kids watched PBS. I hate it when they watch that much TV (especially when I read in every parent's magazine that the AAP says kids under 2 should not watch ANY TV, and Ethan is just barely over two so it makes me feel really guilty) but I guess it's just going to be the way of things for awhile. Better for them to zone out in front of the TV then for us to figure out how to take care of them while I'm in the hospital for two weeks.

October 16, 2006
I made it through the weekend. It was really busy, and I was on my feet way too much. I was very careful not to do TOO much, but it was a wedding, and I was coordinating it, so I had to be on my feet. I didn't do any of the lifting or moving of things, though (other than my own body weight, which these days is more than enough to move). I tried to really take it easy last week, since I knew what was coming up. This was a church wedding, but about a year ago the bride hired me for outside coordination too, which is why it was a double-whammy for things I had to do. Everything turned out nice, and there were very few (and minor) snags, but mostly I'm just glad it's over and now I can really concentrate on taking care of myself. 

I think that through the weekend, being up a lot more than I should have been, the baby has dropped some. My belly just seems really low, now, and I'm having a lot of pain down low, like she's pressing down hard on my groin suddenly. Yesterday after church, and through all afternoon and evening, it really hurt to do anything other than waddle very slowly. I mostly just sat with my feet up. I haven't had too many contractions. I'm noticing that I get more when I'm in the car, or late at night, for some reason. So last night I had several contractions, but not any of the big ones. Still, I had enough that I started thinking I should call the doctor today. But today I've just had a few very non-regular ones. The worst part today is just this low pain. I have to take Natalie to dance class in a little while, but after that I don't have much else planned this week.

This past weekend aside, I've just been trying my best to not move around too much. It seems like such a joke to be on, even modified "bed rest", with taking care of a two and a four year old, though. On Wednesday, my first full day at home after getting the news, the kids needed this and that as usual, and then after getting Ethan finally down for a nap (after about 45 minutes of getting up every five minutes to put him back in bed, as has been his unfortunate trend for the last week or so), he woke up an hour later, and came down the stairs and threw up. Down the stairs. SO I had to change his clothes, clean up his froggy and cat (which had vomit all over them), and also scrub the carpet on the stairs. That was my first day of bed rest. It's gotten a little better since then. One of my friends from church gave us two coolers full of food from Market Day, which I had heard about before but never looked into. It's all basically meals you can just heat up and eat, and they are pretty healthy too. (And they cook up faster - and mostly in the microwave - and are much cheaper than Dream Dinners, which I had been thinking about doing before the baby came. I can't make it there now, though, since it involved standing and preparing meals for about an hour.)

October 10, 2006
Well big surprise. I felt like things might have really taken a turn in this last two weeks, since my last ultrasound cervical check, and I was right. I had my 32-week appointment this morning, and as it turns out, I'm already dilated. To about 3 cm. Liza checked my cervix...more thoroughly...then I think I've ever had my cervix manually checked before, because she wanted to really make sure. The good news (if you can say anything is "good" about being 32 weeks and dilated to 3), is that she said that my cervix is "funneled" and only the outer part is dilated to 3. The inner part is still mostly closed. The baby is still high up, too, so at least her head isn't right there pushing down and making things worse. She said my whole cervix was really soft, though, so even one big contraction could really set things in motion. She scolded me pretty good for not calling the office when I've had those long contractions like I wrote about last week. (I had another on Wednesday night, and more this past Sunday, too.) She said we're not going to do anything drastic at this point (just basically the modified chair/bed rest) but she stressed that if I have ANY more like that, I needed to call them right away. If I have any more like that in the next few weeks, I'll be going on the Terbutaline. (The shaky meds.) So as for now, I'm just going to keep a close watch on how many "normal" contractions I'm having, and definitely call them right away if I get any more of the biggies. In the meantime, I'm supposed to sit or lay down as much as possible. As Phil said when I called him right after the appointment, "Yeah. Go sit down, I'll just call up our maid and butler and have them come over right away." I'm just going to do what I can. I got the floor living room carpet steam cleaned yesterday, so at least it's clean and I don't have to do that now. (It was really gross, and then yesterday morning Ethan had one too many cups of milk without a diaper change (neglectful, yep), and had a runny poop and pee-out all over his pants and in some spots, on the floor, so it had to be cleaned pronto...) As far as the kids go, well, I'm just going to do my best. I also have a wedding this weekend, but it's the last one I have scheduled right now, thankfully. I'll just be doing the directing from a chair. The couple has a decorator, so unlike most of the weddings I do, I know I won't have to be doing all the lifting, reaching and squatting to get things set up and torn down.

Other than that, the biggest change I've noticed this week is my lack of hunger. A few weeks ago, I felt like I could never get my belly filled up satisfactorily. Now, I eat about half of a normal amount of food, and I'm stuffed. Apparently my stomach is now squashed up in my rib cage and reduced to the size of three or four peas, or at least it seems so!  Amazingly, I haven't had that bad of heartburn lately, even with my stomach so high up. I just have the heartburn every so often, but Tums is working for now.

There's not too much else to report this week. The kids are doing fine. Natalie has now been in her dance class for about a month. I don't know yet what she's learning new in ballet this year, but in tumbling her teachers this year are two teenagers, and I think they are teaching her a lot more, likely because they are young themselves. She's already practicing backwards rolls, and starting cartwheels. Natalie has been asking me (yeah right!) to show her how to do cartwheels for about a year.  So she's excited to go to dance class every week. It's been harder to get there, though, because she's going to late afternoon classes this year instead of morning. Last year we'd go to dance first thing, then go do something out of the house for the afternoon, as our "day out", since the hardest part of getting out of the house to go do things is just the getting out part, and going to dance in the morning forced us...me... to get us out the door. (Well, having "days out" are pretty much shot now for the next several weeks anyway...) Now we spend the day doing everything we ordinarily do (me getting work done, kids playing, showers (kids too if needed) cleaning up, kids lunch, Natalie home school, Ethan's nap) and then we have to break out of routine to head down to Canal Winchester right at about rush hour time. I still haven't gotten used to it.

I'll get the 32 week (8 month) belly picture taken and posted later on this evening or tomorrow.

October 4, 2006
Last night was one of those moments where you just wish you had a camera with you. And it's also one of those times that make the difficult kid times I wrote about yesterday worth it. 

We try to get out and do something on Tuesday nights - we try to make it our "family night" since most other nights of the week seem to be booked with other things. Last night we took the kids to see Cars at the dollar theater. About a half hour before the end of the movie, Ethan started getting tired, so he didn't want to sit in his seat anymore. He stood around our chairs for a few minutes, then decided he wanted to sit on my lap.  He mostly sat perched on the end of my knee, since my lap is quickly becoming nonexistent. Every now and then he would lay back, over my belly, and snuggle up his head right under my chin. After a few minutes of this, Natalie saw what was going on and she of course couldn't be left out. So she wanted to come sit on my lap. I asked Ethan if he wanted to go sit on Daddy's lap, and he very vigorously said, "No. Mama." So then I tried to convince Natalie that Daddy really wanted her to sit with him. "He misses you during the day, Natalie." She responded just as vigorously - "No. I want to sit on YOUR lap. With Ethan."  Well I didn't think it was do-able, but I somehow got both kids up on my lap, one perched precariously on the edge of each knee, and I put one arm around each kid to keep them from toppling off. Now, being that this is a low quality dollar-theater seat, and it's already ill-fitting for an almost 8-month preggo, this was extremely uncomfortable for me, and little Baby ___ was probably feeling very squashed too, but fortunately the movie only had about ten minutes left in it. At one point, both kids were laying back across my belly, with their heads on my shoulders. It was cute. Then Natalie sat up again and wanted to put her feet on the chair back in front of her (there was no one there- it was a Tuesday after all). Mr. Me-Too decided to do the same. 

I'm sure it was quite an interesting thing to see - me, holding (really) three kids on a non-lap, with two little pairs of feet stuck out and propped out in front of us. It was kind of nice, though, being that I've been Mrs. Bad Guy lately around here, to have my lap so full of kids who wanted to be there.

October 3, 2006
Sunday morning I woke up feeling really nauseated again. Like a resurgence of first trimester (or in my case this time, first and half-second trimester) morning sickness. I just felt really yucky all day, and it's come and gone over the last few days.  And then, just as we got to church, I started having a BAD contraction. This one went on and on -for about 20 minutes straight, and didn't matter whether I stood or sat. It was really painful. Phil went to get me a couple cups full of water, which I downed, and then it started to subside after awhile. (And of course then a few minutes later I had to leave service because I needed a trip to the bathroom!!) By the time I walked to the bathroom, the contraction started coming again. It even hurt to sit there going pee. This time it didn't last as long, though. I had a couple more through the rest of the service, and told Phil afterwards that if it didn't settle down after we ate lunch, we would be making a trip to L&D. Well, it did settle down in the afternoon. I didn't even really get my normal 3-4 per hour for the rest of the afternoon. And now for the past couple days I've just gone back to that "normal" amount, so I think I'm okay. It was a little scary, though. 

I don't know if I'm getting some nesting here or what, but for the last couple days (since about Friday) I've just been wanting to clean my house a lot more than normal. I think it just gets to a point with me, where after not being bothered by it for a long time, suddenly I look around and all I see is the filth surrounding me. It's pretty much (pretty much? the word should be "completely") impossible to keep the house clean (for more than about two minutes) with two kids under the age of 5, but I've been at least trying to get the serious grime gone. Yesterday I was once again on my hands and knees, scrubbing the bathroom and kitchen floors (mops just don't cut it). I'm sure that's quite an attractive sight - big ol' pregnant belly (and of course barefoot since I can't get socks on my feet very easily...barefoot and pregnant, haha...) crawling along the floors, scrub scrubbing. I did get the floors clean, though. And also the long-ignored tile in the bathroom shower walls. I thought for sure that I would wake up this morning completely in pain and regretting it, but so far today I feel pretty good.

I am really at my wit's end as to what I can do to get my kids to not fight over everything all the time. When we're out, they are wonderful. When we're home (which we are a lot more lately since I don't have the energy to get out as much), they either fight with each other, wrestle to the point that Natalie ends up in tears and someone falls and bumps their heads, or Ethan hits or pinches, or kicks, his sister. I don't know where the kid learned it, but lately he just won't stop hitting his sister. Usually with whatever toy is in his hand (and often, likely instigated by his sister who can't seem to let him have whatever it is he's playing with), but just as often he just chases her around the room and then whacks her with his arm.  It's driving me crazy, and nothing seems to be working as discipline. When I put him in "time-out", he will cry and will indeed sit there, but afterwards it's like a time out didn't even happen. Yes, sometimes we do spank our kids, with a swat on a well-padded bottom, but I don't do that unless it's a direct disobeying of something I've said. (I don't want to just smack my kids in anger or frustration...) It doesn't seem to help, anyway. A spank doesn't remotely begin to faze the boy. So far the only thing that seems to cause any effect at all is taking away toys. Yesterday I instituted, as Natalie is now calling it, 'a new rule in our house': the very FIRST time I hear the kids fighting over, or Ethan hitting with, any toy, I take it away - I'm tired of even giving warnings. Yesterday the kids lost all but one crayon each. Literally - they each had ONE crayon. Natalie had a purple and Ethan had a green. Every other crayon was put up on the fridge. I just don't know what else to do. I'm so tired of the fighting, and I just don't have the energy to be playing referee all day long.

Ethan also had his first full-scale temper tantrum this weekend. (He's had several crying fits when things don't go his way, but nothing like this.) He wanted a cup of milk, and I gave him white milk.  When I handed it to him, he said "choc milk". We rarely give them chocolate milk (in fact the chocolate syrup is so far back in the fridge that it hardly ever emerges) and they drink a ton of milk, so it's not like he should ever be expecting anything different. But for whatever reason, this time Ethan felt it should have been chocolate. Well, since I had already poured the milk and put the lid on, and left the kitchen, I was not going to play short-order cook and change it for him. (I know, mean mommy.)  So he threw himself down on the floor, belly first, kicked his little feet, and starting screaming "choc milk! choc milk!" This went on for several minutes, and nothing would sway his attention otherwise. Phil eventually picked him up and plopped him into his room, where he continued to tantrum for the next 15 minutes. Finally I started hearing the tears subside, so I went in and hugged him, and he apparently felt much better. He came out and drank his cup of white milk. 

It's not all as bad as it sounds. I have really good kids, and I know that. Especially when I'm around a bunch of other kids, I always realize it. That doesn't mean it makes the day to day challenges any easier, though.