We didn't end up having a doctor's appointment for Ella last week. I was mistaken and had written an appointment down in the wrong month of my planner. She isn't due to go in until next month, for a 4-month well baby checkup. So we still don't know how she's grown, but she's pretty much done with most of her 3-6 month clothes right now. (Which likely puts her at about 16 pounds, unless she's just grown in length and not weight.) She can still wear separates, but anything with attached footies (which is what my kids mostly wear as babies!) has just gotten too small. She can hardly stretch out her legs all the way. She doesn't like being so tightly wrapped, either. The girl has suddenly started to move. As she sits here on my lap (as I type), she's practicing her sit ups. And when I lay her against my chest, she loves to either arch her back or stand up, or both. She still hasn't rolled over, but I haven't been giving her much encouragement to, either! She also just a couple days ago discovered how to blow bubbles. It's so cute! 

I got a new baby carrier for our Florida trip, a Moby Wrap. It's literally just a long piece of slightly stretchy fabric, so I could have easily made one if I was inclined, but I wasn't, so I got it off Ebay instead. It's SO nice. It holds your baby in about ten different ways, all of which are very secure and comfortable for both Ella and me. I like that it is completely hands-free (more so than a sling), and doesn't put a strain on my shoulders, neck or back (like the Baby B'jorn does after your kid is over about 12 pounds).  So between that, and the double stroller we just got from a thrift store last week (thrift stores are our winter garage sales), we're all set for our trip. We have a "seat" for all three kids. Natalie will likely want to walk most of the time, but even a five year old can get cranky after walking around all day. I just read that around the World Showcase area of Epcot is 1.2 miles. Maybe I'll lose some of these last pounds on this trip!

It should be quite interesting to see how long it takes us to get down there with three kids: one that has to go potty at completely random times (often just after we've stopped for another reason), and another that will need to be nursed. We'll probably be starting out in the evening, after dinner. Hopefully all three kids will conk out for a good solid block of time. At least for this trip we will have the portable DVD player and the Leapsters. (Thanks Grammy!) 

I have to brag on Natalie for a minute. The other day the kids were coloring, and she was drawing a bunch of boxes, and she showed me and said they were stairs. She asked me, "Mom, how do you draw 16 stairs?" I counted the 16 boxes she had already drawn and said, "That looks pretty good to me." She asked me again, but when I still didn't get it, she gave up on me and put the paper back on the floor and went back to her drawing. Then she looked up at me and said, "Is this right?" I looked at her page, and she had written: "S-I-K-T-N S-T-A-R-S". Pretty clever kid, huh? (But no, I'm NOT teaching her 'natural language' spelling as part of her home school!)

February 19, 2007
By the way, Natalie turned five last week. Her birthday fell on the dates in between my old computer dying and getting my new computer set up, so I didn't get an update written. She had, she has told us, "the best birthday EVER". We started the day with a bubble bath; something they haven't had except for on Saturday nights when Daddy runs the bath, for a long time. Their last non-shower bathing experience (at least when I'm in charge of it) was about mid-pregnancy, when I stopped being able to easily lean over the edge of the tub. So the kids were excited.  Then we went over to Eastland mall for Natalie's birthday photo at JCPenney. She did really well, except that she's now at that age where she is trying too hard to make a smile. So I had to really get her laughing to get the forced smile off of her face. After the pictures were taken, I took the kids to the mall play area for awhile, and then we went to Chuck E. Cheese. (At this point, I'd already done more in one day than I have in a LONG time!) Our church mom's group was meeting at Chuck's for lunch, which made Natalie happy because for the last few weeks she'd been complaining about wanting her party there and not at home, as was our plan for this year. We had lunch and the kids played for about an hour or so. Chuck E. came out to say happy birthday to Natalie, and she got a "free" ice cream sandwich. (Free offset by the fact that we paid about $6 for a hot dog and orange wedges, and $5 for my salad, including questionable lettuce and tomatoes. Yum yum!)

After our visit to Chuck's, I went to pick up 24 purple, blue, and pink balloons from the card place, and my friend Ashley came over for the afternoon. She was already over on this side of town for the mom's group, and I didn't want to force her to make the drive twice in one afternoon so she just made plans to spend the afternoon over here. I hadn't thought about the fact that not only did that mean I had to have the whole house ready for the party on Thursday, but that also she'd have her kids with her, along with my two likely causing the house to be destroyed hours before the party was to begin. So that caused a little stress for me, but as it turns out the kids did a good job behaving, and we just had a couple clean-up sessions before the party started. Ashley cleaned much of my kitchen up, actually, which was quite an undertaking since I had just finished making my cakes and frosting. And the kitchen was a complete disaster, by the way, since I had made the mistake of baking the cupcakes in the morning, before I was really awake. Here's a quick synopsis of what happened: I got the batter mixed up and was starting to spoon them into the cupcake liners, when I noticed that it looked a little thick. But then I thought, well, it's a recipe using butter and not oil, so maybe that's how it's supposed to look. But I decided to check the box just to be sure. I then realized I'd forgotten to add the three eggs. SO, although it couldn't be ideal for the cakes I just added the eggs into the bowl and then turned on the mixer. Forgetting to lock the bowl back into the stand. The bowl went flying, sending chocolate and eggs all over the kitchen. At this point I almost abandoned the cupcakes but Natalie really wanted to decorate them as her party activity. So I scooped as much of the batter back into the bowl as I could, added an extra egg for good measure, and hoped for the best. The cupcakes weren't my crowning glory of baking achievement, but they tasted good enough. That was the last time I try to bake still half-asleep.

The party was fun, for everyone, myself included. It was just family and Natalie's friends from church, but we still had a houseful. (We ask her who she wants to invite every year, keeping to the "number of kids per age" rule, but this year they all came with siblings.) I know I'm feeling better these days when not only was I able to get out of the house for all the morning activity, but I did not feel overwhelmed by the party, and I actually had a lot of fun too. It was much more fun than the forced activity at Chuck E. Cheese. The kids just played downstairs most of the time while the grown ups talked, and then the kids decorated cupcakes, all over our living room floor. The kids ate their cupcakes and the adults ate a slice of the Daisy cake. (Baked the night before with no issues!) Natalie got both her cupcake and a slice of the cake since it was her day! I'm sure it was the fun of the party, and not the fact that she got a ton of Polly Pocket things, that made this the Best Birthday Ever...well, Polly might have had something to do with it. (Thanks Grammy.)

Natalie has suddenly been acting very FIVE lately. I think she assumes she's a grown up now, because she acts like she's five going on 13.  Yesterday I apparently said something that she KNEW was wrong, and she put her little hands on her hips, gave me a "duh" look and said, "Mommy." Just like that - one word, with a punctuated period at the end. And just that quickly, I'm not all-knowing mommy anymore. 

Last night I was holding Ella and looking down at her face, as she was sleeping peacefully in the drunken post-nursing state. It hit me that no matter how many pictures I take, how much I write, or how many hours I spend holding her, I'll still forget what she is like as a little baby. I know because I have dozens of pictures of Ethan, and hundreds of Natalie, but I still don't have good, accurate pictures in my mind. Even with the baby parts photo montage that is hanging at my mom's house, for me to look at whenever I'm there, I can't fully remember what they looked and felt like as babies. You'd think with all the time I spent nursing my babies, touching the roundness of their cheeks and the curve of their pink ears, feeling little fingers wrapped around me, that I would remember. But I don't. As much as I look forward to every new thing my kids do as they grow, and how much I really look forward to being out of the baby stage of my life, I wish there was a way to fully remember them as babies. These early days go so fast, and Natalie turning five last week just made that thought hit home even more. I hold Ella and I just breathe her in. That new baby smell is more than just Johnson's and Dreft, which is why you could never make a perfume called "new baby". I know that even blindfolded I'd be able to pick Ella out from a line-up of many babies, just by scent alone -- just like studies have found babies can find their moms.  I know what she smells, sounds and feels like now, but I also know that I'll forget. I wish it could be bottled. 

Tomorrow is Ella's three month check up. I can't remember if she's due for more shots or not! I'm mostly looking forward to finding out how much she's grown, because her 3-6 month size clothes are starting to get tight. Natalie shot up a ton over the last few months, too. She's now in size 6, and she's been complaining for the last week that her shoes are getting tight (the ones my mom just got for her in the middle of fall). All her old pants are highwaters on her, so we've been going thrift store shopping lately to find her some pants that fit.  Ethan is still in size 3T, but he's "bigger" too these days. (He's now "two half!" he proudly says everywhere we go.) One of his favorite phrases these days is "Look what I can do!" He'll say it over and over until we watch to see what it is he's showing off. 

I have such cute kids. Even when the older two spend half their days fighting. Ella's in that stage right now where all she has to do is be cute, but it won't be long before the cacophony will include all three!

February 15, 2007
Ella is three months old today! At three months, Ella is so very talkative, and she smiles a lot now. I love the three month old stage. The "fourth trimester" is over, and things start getting more fun. (Except for the end of that fourth trimester is also when my body figures out that I'm not pregnant anymore, and my hair starts to fall out in earnest; right on schedule, I'm shedding everywhere. Yuck!) I've decided that no baby toy should be labeled as "0 months and up". Babies just don't care about anything other than mommy's face, and chest, until around now.  Ella is saying several sounds these days, even a few sound combinations, which is really good for three months. She hasn't lifted her head off the ground too much yet when she's having tummy time, and certainly nothing near 90 degrees like many developmental milestones say she should be doing. No rush though, Natalie didn't roll over until much later than she was "supposed" to, and she still walked on schedule, even earlier than Ethan did. (And he was much more mobile early on.) She doesn't like to be on her tummy very much though, just like Natalie. (She spits up just like Natalie did, almost every time I put her on her belly.) Ella does like to stand up on my lap, when I help her, and she is pretty close to having good head control while being carried upright. I'll probably be able to hold her facing out in my front carrier in the next couple weeks. 

I posted Ella's three month picture on her Growing page, but there are also a couple of other pictures on Flickr. I'm having lots of fun putting photos up there. It's so much easier, and faster, now! I love my new computer.

Yesterday I took Natalie and Ethan outside to play in the snow, though it ended up really being more about playing on the ice. We got about six inches of snow, but it was all covered up by almost 3/4 inch of ice. Everything looks really pretty (sparkly, Natalie says) outside, but it made playing in the snow a little hard. They mainly just picked up pieces of ice and threw them down to watch them shatter. The ice was so thick that unless I stomped through it to break it up, they just skated on top. I took them out on the sled for a little while, but it was so slippery that the very slight hill down our front walkway was enough for them to take off down our front yard (which has a pretty big hill). They went really fast down the hill and crashed into the tree in our front yard. Not too hard, really they just crashed into the base of the tree where the snow came up a little higher. Still, after that Natalie didn't want to get back on the sled. She said, "I'm all done sledding Mommy..." I was able to take the two kids outside because we had a Level 2 snow emergency, so Phil took the morning off work. I tanked up Ella and then he held her while I took Natalie and Ethan out. Ethan was excited that I was going out to play, but Natalie was a little upset that it would be me and not Daddy. Unfortunately she's not really used to me getting outside and playing recently! I did fall down through the ice at one point and my ankle turned again, but it doesn't hurt anymore than it has been lately anyway. (It still throbs occasionally, and I've had to keep an ankle brace on it still.) We had a really mild winter, until my ankle started feeling better and then it turned really cold and snowy, and I'm just not comfortable taking Ella out in this weather. I'm looking forward to spring and warm weather so that my kids can remember than mommy can get outside and play too!

We're going to be getting a spring preview here in a couple weeks. We're heading down to Orlando for a week, beginning on March 5th. (We'll actually be leaving at least a day before that, since it appears in all likelihood that we'll be driving.) We got three nights of hotel for free for signing up for auto-pay for our newspaper, and then two nights ago Phil and I were talking about looking into a timeshare company to get some more days. Yesterday morning, we got a phone call from a timeshare company (amazing on its own since we are on the do not call list), offering us four nights in Orlando and tickets to Disney. So we took it! Some day we will likely vacation again without doing timeshare tours, but at this point in our lives, we will gladly sit through a presentation for an almost-free vacation!

February 12, 2007
Fun fun fun!

I just got DSL a couple weeks ago; unfortunately, it crashed my very old computer. (Couldn't handle technology more recent than almost 10 years ago.) Well, this weekend I got a new-to-me computer, and now I'm up and running! Woohoo! It's so cool to be able to upload more than one picture per hour!

So, as of today, I am hereby canceling my languished "picture of the day" area, and now you can see all kinds of recent photos by going to my Flickr page (see the column on the left). If you aren't currently a member of Flickr or Yahoo, when you go there you'll have to sign in for an account, but they don't send any spam.

I'll write an update very soon. I just wanted to share this fun news!

February 6, 2007
Just when you think you've confiscated all possible things in the house that Ethan could be destructive with, he finds something else. He woke this morning, as usual, at the crack of dawn, and before long he came into our room asking for milk and cereal. (We hardly have a need for an alarm clock anymore.) Phil stumbled out of bed to help him, and he walked into the living room and saw a mess. Not just the container of yogurt that he got out of the fridge by himself and opened, but he apparently decided that he was going to feed the fish. The boy can barely reach into the fish tank when the kids help me give them food, which likely explains why a lot of the food ended up on the carpet all around the tank. Unfortunately, not all of it. The tank was FULL, I mean completely overflowing, with fish food. He'd emptied the container of fish flakes, and also the container of pellets, and ALSO half the bag of the algae wafers (food for our algae eater fish when he's been a good little fish and has kept the tank clean).  The algae wafers were pretty easy to clean out; I just had to scoop them out by hand, but the tank (29 gallons) was a mess. We thought for sure that all of our fish would be dead by lunchtime.  At first we were going to just remove the fish and then dump out all of the water, but I couldn't find my net so I started doing normal water changes. Phil had an early meeting at work so that left me to clean everything up. With my monthly changes I typically siphon out and replace about 25% of the water. This time I left only a couple of inches of water in the tank. After refilling the tank (hauling gallons of water back and forth from the sink) and rinsing the layers of fish food out of the filter, I let it run for about a half hour. The tank was still a mess. I emptied and refilled the tank two more times. Took me about two hours this morning. (And of course then I had to vacuum the whole floor, also covered in fish food.) Finally the tank is looking slightly less cloudy. I'm letting it run this afternoon and I'll decide later if I need to change the water one more time. So far all of our fish are still alive, but after their buffet this morning, I won't be feeding them at all for a few days. I'm sure this will be something we can laugh about years from now. Right now I'm feeling so fed up with Ethan's destructive streak, and my back hurts so much from hauling all that water back and forth, that it's not funny yet.

We're going to take some more drastic measures tonight. We're going to go buy some dark window shades or curtains for Ethan's room, for one. He tends to get up no matter how dark it is outside, but it can't hurt to try it. We're also going to put the baby gate up across his doorway, and let him know that when he wakes up he can play in his room, but until it's a decent wake-up time he's going to learn to play in his room. He's got plenty of toys in there and he knows how to turn on his own light, so he will be fine for a little while. (We've removed all diaper cream from his room, so he can't do that again.) For all I know he might be able to climb over the gate (we haven't had it up since last year sometime), but maybe it will at least slow him down. I don't care if he has to yell out for us to come get him out. Today's antic was just the last straw. We can't let him continue to run around doing as he pleases before the sun comes up for awhile.

This Friday is Natalie's fifth birthday. We're having a lower-key party this year, since I don't have the energy to do much else. Turning five is a big deal, so I wanted to make sure to do something, but we're just going to be having a party at our house. (She still keeps telling me that she wants to have her party at Chuck E Cheese, but our church mom's group is meeting there for lunch that day anyway, so she'll at least get to play there for awhile.) I'm making a Daisy cake this year. Not the flower, but Dora's cousin Daisy. She's recently gone nuts over Daisy, calling herself Daisy (and Ethan is Diego), dressing up like Daisy, talking on the phone to her, etc etc. So I'm making one of those doll dress cakes, and instead of putting the little barbie head into it, I'm going to cut a hole in the center and put her Daisy figurine (from her Dora house set) into it, making Daisy in her birthday party dress. Natalie will be so thrilled.

I've taken lots of pictures of the three kids lately, and I now have DSL so I'm likely to get them posted more often. Unfortunately, my OLD, OLD computer (running Win98) isn't handling the 21st century technology very well, and it crashes every time I go online or try to check my email, so it's been hard to get anything accomplished even though I have a faster connection. If you've been trying to email me, I've gotten your emails but I can't SEND emails without going into the webmail, so that's why no one's heard much from me! I'll try to get updated on photos soon. We have some cute ones of the kids playing out in the snow. 

Just as a quick update on me, I think I'm starting to feel a little better. It's hard to tell, because I still feel pretty much the same, but I have noticed that I'm not crying so much, I've less often exploded at the kids (even this morning when I was really, really angry about the fish tank) and I've been able to accomplish a few things per day instead of feeling overwhelmed by the smallest thing (therefore sending me to just sitting on the couch and avoiding doing anything). I've even gotten out of the house with less angst a few times, and to the library once last week. (The downtown one, which is easier for me to do since it has an indoor garage. I hate having to get all the kids out and about in the cold.) Other than Natalie's speech therapy, I've cut out most other obligations right now, so I can focus on doing what I can to not feel so overwhelmed. It seems so silly, as I sit here and write about it, to say I just can't get out of the house by myself with the three kids, but it is how I feel. It's been really hard. 

I think one of the biggest indications that I'm starting to get better is that Ella has started talking a lot and smiling a lot more often, so I think she's responding to the fact that my face isn't always a flat, no-emotion expression all the time. She loves to sit and "chat" with me several times a day. It's so very cute.