June 29, 2002

Last night Natalie slept the whole night in her crib, in her own room, for the first time! Early yesterday evening, Phil and I got one side of her mattress propped up a little and it seemed to help. When I got her to sleep last night, we put her down in the crib and then slowly backed out of her room, of course hitting every creak in the floor we could find. We took the monitor parent unit with us, and as soon as we got into our room I turned it on, only to discover that the battery was worn down and needed recharged. So I crept back into Natalie's room and fished around her changing table area to find the charger that I had tucked away months ago. After finding it,. I got the monitor plugged in and we got ready for bed. Sitting there in the silence, I heard a "click, click, click" coming out of the speaker. What could that sound be? We had turned off her ceiling fan. Suddenly it hit me, I had put a tiny little clock that I used to have on my work desk on the shelf where Natalie's side of the monitor sat.I thought it looked nice there and the shelf needed something on it. So I sat and listened to the thing click away all night. I didn't sleep well last night because our room was darker than it had been in almost 5 months (we had kept a small light on for Natalie) and I was listening harder for her little stirrings since she wasn't right next to our bed. I'm sure I'll get used to it though, and it is definately nice to have our room back again. Maybe now I can stop being so angry at PB every night when she starts her loud chirping as I crawl into bed. The cat just wanted my attention finally at the end of the day but I was always sure she would wake up Natalie after I spent the last two or more  hours rocking her to sleep!  Natalie slept through the whole night and she did just fine!

Then this afternoon was another milestone - she finally rolled over! Phil called  me to come downstairs as I was finishing up after my shower, and I saw that she had launched her legs over to one side from laying on her back, and she had her bottom all the way in the air. She got one arm stuck underneath her so she wasn't laying completely flat on her tummy, but she was pretty close! Now she just needs to work on getting back from her tummy because she gets so frustrated when she's stuck like that.

My mom told me this afternoon that our pictures are in at Celebrity Kids, so I'll hopefully be able to get at least a couple of them posted soon. I'll probably be emailing them to everyone though (all the shots) so again, if you want to be on the "mailing list" email me to let me know.  I'm pretty certain now that I'll have  to be getting rid of Homestead in the next couple weeks (see the last journal entry) so let me know if you want to be kept informed of where I'm going next.

Finally, I just want to say that I am growing to love this little girl so much more every day. I just can't believe how much I love her. I thought I'd have some inkling while I was pregnant, but I still had no idea. I remember people saying that to me and I believed them, but it was still so much more than I thought possible. She's such an amazing gift from God to us.

June 22, 2002

We had Natalie's picture taken at Celebrity Kids today. After a week of successfully keeping her hands from scratching her face, we woke up this morning and there it was, a big cat-scratch-like gash by her left ear. By 2:00 though, it had at least faded somewhat, and they did a great job of not showing it. The whole experience was awesome. We had 45 minutes with the photographer, and unlike Sears, they were real photographers and not just baby herders, cattle-prodding on each family through the studio as fast as they could. We got some very beautiful shots. Every single one was good for different reasons, actually, and when it came time to decide between shots of the same session, I almost got tears in my eyes trying to decide which of the four or five I liked best. We got five different sets, plus they did a montage of baby parts. We chose one that is Natalie in a flower dress sitting in a white wicker chair, one of her naked in a basket with red roses, one of her naked and laying on her tummy on a moon, one of all three of us with her in her jeans overalls that her Aunt Nanny got her, and then another one of me holding Natalie in my outstretched arms, where all you can see is my hands and arms and her head and torso. In that one she is gazing up at me. That one was one of the hardest to decide. In another shot in that session she was looking right at the camera with a big smile on her face, but we decided that the one of her looking up at me was the best because the look was completely "I love my mommy". I can't wait to get them back. It will be in 3 to 5 days. We will be getting an 8x10 of each shot plus some 5x7's and wallets of each one also, plus an 11x13 of the family picture. 

We were so proud of how she did the whole time. I fed her right before we went in, and she was in a great mood the whole time. We could tell she was getting sleepy though; she had started to fall asleep on the drive over to Easton and then we REALLY wore her out! She fell asleep in her stroller as we were leaving, so we all went to lunch at California Pizza Kitchen then and she slept the whole time. It was a great day and DEFINATELY a great birthday present! Thanks Mom!!!

I'll scan and post the pictures when I get them back. Which brings me to a bit of bad news. I may be shutting down my website in July. I just found out that they are raising the cost of this website per year by $50. $20 I found reasonable; jumping up to $70 suddenly I think is ridiculous, especially since Homestead is so buggy and I've been unhappy with various things about it for a long time now. I started this website in 1998 after we got married just to post a few pictures, and I knew nothing about web design so I liked the fact that it is a full WYSIWYG editor. Once I started getting more into it though, it started to become very limiting for me - I can add my own HTML but it doesn't make it easy, and often your own HTML added to Homestead is unstable; it causes the page to mess up randomly. I've put up with it and didn't want to change though since it was inexpensive and I have around 150 pages or so on this website, and I can't just easily port it over to another website provider for the same reason, since everything is created in the Editor. So...I don't yet know what I'm going to do. No matter what though, I'll continue "journal" updates of some sort and pictures and such, even if that's all I do. I have the list of people who subscribe to my site updates, but if you would like to make sure you continue to get this no matter what I decide to do, please email me and let me know (especially if you aren't on the mailing list yet still regularly read the journal). I've also started to get a little wigged out lately by a couple friends who have had to put their journals behind password security because they were getting weird and gross people looking up their pages on internet searches. I haven't had anything like that happen to me yet, that I know of (and I have the site meter also, which shows what people are using to find my website) but just the thought of people looking at pictures of my baby for horrid things makes me nervous, so I've been considering that route lately also even before I found out about the site fee increase. Whatever I decide to do, I want to be able to contine to share Natalie's pictures and her goings-ons with everyone who would like to, so please let me know if you want to be included.   Also let me know if anyone has any suggestions for web site hostings! The one thing I do like about Homestead is no advertising banners, but I just think $70 a year for a buggy and irritating site is way too much.

Another thing I wanted to mention about Natalie today. Besides the fact that she is just so completely cute and smart and wonderful and strong and that we love her so much...where was I? Oh - I wanted to mention that she;s also getting very good at standing with support now. Most of the time she doesn't want to sit down at all. If we are holding her, and she's not laying in my arms eating, she likes to be standing up on our laps. It's so cute. I call it "lap surfing" because that's what it looks like she's doing. Sometimes I can almost just hold onto her with one hand under an arm and she stands really well. At this rate I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't crawl and all and goes right to walking, because she still hates to be on her tummy, still hasn't figured out how to roll over completely on her own, yet she stands up all the time. We'll see, she might surprise us and finally roll over tonight. :-)  She's also getting very good at grasping things in her hands. She reaches for her toys now and usually brings them right to her mouth. Everything goes to her mouth, though most things don't fit in to her liking except for her fingers or mine. She pretty muchs chews on her hands and fingers all the time now, but she still doesn't suck her thumb or anything; she just chews, and the same with pacifiers. Munch, munch, munch.

June 18, 2002

It seems like Natalie has now started a complete reversal of her previous problem. Now she is refusing to take a bottle. I breastfeed full time which is what we want, but sometimes we do like the option of going out for a little while! For my birthday on Friday, Phil and I left Natalie at my mom's and we went out to dinner at The Melting Pot (yum!) which isn't a quick dinner. Our reservation was for 8:00 and as we were leaving the place at almost 10:30, Mom called me on my cell phone to say we had to get home because Natalie had been crying almost the whole time. She was refusing to use the bottle and she was obviously hungry. Just a few days before that she wasn't wanting to take the bottle at the Parade of Homes either, but I just thought it was because it was so hot out that she just wanted the comfort of mom while she ate. Guess not. When we got to my mom's I took Natalie and fed her, and then she was fine. Last night we tried to give her a bottle again, and she reacted the same way she did with my mom: basically with the same rejection she used to do when I tried to nurse her, which is fussing and crying and turning her head away. Little booger. I've heard this can be a result of teething, that is, suddenly rejecting the breast or bottle or even both because it hurts, so hopefully this is just a phase. We're going to keep offering her a bottle every so often, because as much as I like that Natalie is nursing really well, I'd like to keep the option of going out without her for a little while sometimes!

On a positive note, she's eating rice cereal really well. Last night we made it a little thicker than we had previous times, and she ate it up pretty quickly. We're also not quite ready to say it's helping with her reflux yet, because she's always had good and bad days, but it seems to be helping a little. She's still having an almost constant spit during the day, but she hasn't had any of her really huge morning vomits for the past week. So, here's hoping!

For my birthday, my mom got us a photo session for Natalie at a studio at Easton called Celebrity Kids. They have 45 minute photo sessions with lots of artistic photography, props, clothing changes, and such, with none of the headaches that come with the usual places. When we got Natalie's picture taken at Sears, we didn't get in until over an hour after her appointment time, so by the time her picture was taken we were all hot and agitated. Our appointment is for Saturday, so hopefully Natalie won't scratch herself really bad or break out in pimples or anything.  Oh, my mom also got Natalie an exersaucer this weekend, and Natalie seems to really enjoy it so far. She hasn't figured out how to turn herself around yet, but the toys are really fun for her and she likes to make it bounce and rock.

As a final note, I want to apologize to those who have written me lately and I haven't emailed back. Usually by the time I get online and get my emails and read through them, my time is up and I need to get back to Natalie for something. I typically just get online, read my emails, write something over here if I get the chance, and then sometimes get back over to my inbox to respond to a couple emails. I guess I could do all my online things after she goes to bed at night, but since that's usually around midnight, by then I just want to go to bed too! :-)  I'm definately not as long-winded in my emails these days, that's for sure. (I'm sure some people are thankful for that!) :-)  Well, Natalie WILL start taking naps during the daytime one of these days, right? Eventually?

June 12, 2002

This has been a big week for us. Sunday was Natalie's 4 month birthday. I can't believe it's already been four months. Time is going so quickly. For that matter, I can't believe it's June.  Two days friom now will be my birthday and one year from when I found out I was pregnant! (If you missed it the first time, you can read my journal entry from that day here.)  Sunday evening, our friends Joe and Tricia stayed with us. They were in town just for the weekend, but it was really nice to see them since they moved to Massachusettes last year. They slept in Natalie's room. I'm sure she didn't mind since she still hardly uses her room anyway! :) On Monday afternoon after they left for the airport, Phil and Natalie and I went to the Parade of Homes. We went last year and I remember at one house someone asked if we had kids, and I answered, "not yet, but maybe we have one on the way!" At that point I didn't know for sure yet, but I had a feeling. Natalie was so good the whole day. We just carried her around in our Baby Bjorn carrier, and she was happy the whole time, though it did get really hot. The girl definately has skin just like me: it turns beat red with the slightest amount of heat. I'd walk by mirrors in the houses and look at the two of us, and we really looked like two of a kind, really red in the face!  She did so good all day. We just stopped to feed her a couple times, and when we'd see a water cooler I'd splash some cool water on her face. On the way out, since she hadn't taken a nap all day (which is typical though) she completely zonked out on Phil's chest as we were walking back to our car. When we put her in her car seat she woke up and cried, but then she was out again before we'd even gotten the car started. So much excitement! We were so proud of her though. She's such a good baby. She didn't cry or fuss at all the whole time.

Last night was another momentous event. We fed her rice for the first time! I just mixed about a tablespoon of rice with some pumped milk and got it all soupy. Phil held her while I fed her using a spoon. She got more on her chin and her bib than in her mouth, but that's okay, it was a start! After most bites she looked at me and gave me a big smile, so I think she liked it!

June 6, 2002

Natalie had a doctor's appointment this morning. She's now sleeping off her second round of immunization shots. She got three today and she was not happy about it. On the plus side, I tend to get a lot more done after she has shots because she sleeps a lot of the day while recooperating. Sounds terrible, I know. My little baby's body is currently fighting off mini versions of major diseases, and I say "on the plus side..." :-) It's true though. :-)  Today she weighed in at 16 pounds 2 ounces, up from last month's but at least she slowed down a little this month. I was beginning to think we would have to go buy size 3 diapers this week. Her weight is in the 95th percentile. Her length is 26 1/2 inches, which is still off the charts, and her head circumference is 16 1/2 inches, in the 75th percentile. The doctor okayed starting small amounts of cereal this month, so we'll be starting rice this week. He said it may or may not help with the reflux. With some kids it does but others it doesn't. If we don't notice it getting any better with the addition of the solids after about a week, he wants to try an additional medication for her, on top of the Zantac. He doesn't know why it still hasn't gotten any better by this point, but he is encouraged that she's definately growing as she should, so he isn't that concerned. Her next appointment is August 12th. Six months old.

Natalie got mistaken for a boy for the first time this week. We were in line at Kroger's and an older lady came by and joked to her husband, "If we just take that car seat with us we can go home with a beautiful little baby boy tonight!" I wasn't sure I heard her right, but then she came up to Natalie and said, "Aren't you just so handsome?" I didn't say anything, I just sort of smiled and half nodded to her, and she went on her way. Natalie was wearing a pastel purple outfit with a little flower on it. Heehee... well, maybe the lady was colorblind or something. As we left I told Phil. well, that's the first time Natalie's been called handsome!

One bad thing I wanted to note: my Grandma Hedrick fell down at a Reds game this weekend and broke her right arm really badly. It's broken completely in half in the middle of her upper arm, and then from there up toward her shoulder the bone is completely shattered. She has osteoporosis, as do all women in my family it seems, so I'm glad she didn't break her hip or something like that when she fell, but she went to the doctor about it and he doesn't think they can do surgery to fix her arm, since it's so shattered. So we're just praying for healing right now and to help ease the pain. She's right handed, too, so that makes it all the worse.

June 5, 2002

I just realized that not only has the counter on Natalie's page just gone over 10,000 (yay!)  but the dumb counter I'm using doesn't roll any higher than that. So now we just have to do a little math to find out.

I've been awake since 5 am this morning. Everyone else is still snoozing but I woke up having another estrogen-induced hot "flash" that lasted over one hour and I couldn't fall back asleep. I can only assume I'm still having these because of breastfeeding, I guess, but they are worse then the ones I got while on fertility meds and worse than I had while pregnant. I just suddenly get so sweltering hot and I sweat profusely and I can't cool down. I have the temp down to 74 degrees in this house and I've been running the air conditioning almost continually since about March, but I still can't stay cool.  I haven't really had a good physical-issues gripe session in awhile now, so just bear with me a minute. I just wish my body would do what it is supposed to do, "supposed to" meaning from the all-knowing "theys" who write all the books. I think maybe if I just never read anything I wouldn't know what normal is and I'd maybe feel better, huh? :) Supposedly by now, when breastfeeding has been established well for about 3 months (we won't go into all the diffuculties and frustrations of the first 6 weeks or so) all the annoyances like leaking and engorgement should have passed. According to The Books. In my case, I wake every morning still feeling like I'm going to explode, and if it weren't for nursing pads I'd never be able to go out in public. (Though I'm still fully committed to breastfeeding. I didn't go through all those weeks of fighting to get my milk established just to give it up now. Besides, it's good for Natalie and it's a LOT cheaper than formula!!) Of course, The Books also said that postpartum lochia should have ended after about 4 weeks and in my case it was around double that. Not that I've ever seemed to work by the book though, it took meds to get me to have a cycle, meds to get pregnant, meds to stay pregnant once I went into early labor, and then still meds to go into full labor once it finally started for good. I have been off drugs now (haha) since having the baby, but who knows if I'll start working on my own once I'm not breastfeeding full time anymore. I've heard many times that things can finally kick in and work after having a baby, but I'm not going to hold my breath on it! Besides all that, and my constant sweats, my hair is falling out by the clumps, I've got patches of skin so dry on my arms that the skin is flaking off, yet my face is continually shiny and as soon as I get one acne patch cleared up another one appears. Boy do I feel attractive. I feel like I've gone back to being a teenager again at least in appearance (though I had a much flatter tummy then!!). Crazy hormones. Oh, and I've also seemed to develop some kind of carpal tunnel in my left wrist ever since delivery. I wonder if it wasn't because I squeezed so hard on my Natalie bear (focal point) with that hand for so many hours. I don't know. It's painful though; many times my whole wrist locks up. I thought maybe it would go away after awhile but it's been almost four months now and it is just as bad. Another thing I never expected postpartum (which I also read about in the same books) would be that my hands and arms suddenly go tingly ("fall asleep") really quickly now. I don't know why labor causes that but apparently it's not uncommon. I don't even have to put any pressure on my hands for them to fall asleep anymore; if I just keep them in one position for too long, they start to go numb.

Okay, I think that about covers it. The same Theys of The Books remind several times that it takes 9 months to grow a baby so you can't expect to be fully recovered in less time then that, even though conventional wisdom is that recovery takes 6 weeks. (HA HA HA HA) I won't do another gripe session for awhile now. I just needed to get this all out of my system and the morning after waking up with a hot flash after only four hours of sleep is a good time to do it, right? :)

June 4, 2002

Yesterday Natalie halfway turned over from her back to her belly for the first time. She hates being on her belly so she doesn't get much practice in that position (she usually starts crying too quickly so we turn her back over) but lately whenever we roll her from her back to her front or ther other way, we roll her over and not just place her down on her belly, so that maybe she'd start to figure out how it's done. Yesterday we were doing that over and over again, and then one time she started rolling herself to her belly again (by kicking her legs to one side) and she just kept on going. Instead of rolling her over I just put my hand behind her back to stop her from rolling back down, and she did it! We tried it again but she wouldn't do it, so her turn was probably mostly accident at this point.

This borders on "TMI", but yesterday or possibly the day before was Natalie's conception date. Those of us who struggled with fertility know when things happen because everything is on a scientifically and medically planned schedule.  Some cultures, China being one of them I think, date age from the conception date and not birthdate. We didn't have birthday cake or anything, we'll wait until February for that, but since we believe life begins at conception, happy 1 year birthday Natalie! This time last year our little bean was growing at an even faster rate than she is now! :-)

We've found another side effect of Natalie having a small mouth - she can't seem to fit any of her toys in her mouth in order to teethe on them. But she loves to chew on my index finger, it fits just right. The last couple days she's been chewing on it so hard it looks like she thinks my finger is a piece of bubble gum.

Today's cute thing Natalie does that I want to mention: sometimes after she nurses, she starts to fall asleep and pops off, but she keeps making little sucking motions with her mouth. It's so cute.