Ethan is on his way to sleeping through the night! Last night he woke for a 4:30 feeding, but on Friday night, he fell asleep for the final time (after his late evening nap and feeding) at about 11-ish. He woke up around 4 for a diaper change, but then Phil put him back in his crib without nursing, and he fell right back asleep and slept until about 7:30! Over the last week or so, he'd been slowing reducing the number of middle of the night feedings, generally just having one or two, like last night. Phil changes his diaper and puts him in my arms, and I hold him there and feed him using my 5 pillows to prop me up and the Boppy to prop up my arms, like I've been doing since his first week home. I've gotten REALLY good at falling back asleep sitting up like that, though, so the feedings haven't bothered me that much. The hardest part is just sitting up and getting all the pillows and myself arranged in the middle of the night. I usually fall back asleep pretty quickly, and then later on I wake up and realize I'm still holding him, and he's back asleep too. Sometimes I put him back in his crib and other times I just keep holding him, because I'm too unmotivated to either get out of bed or even to get up enough energy to wake up Phil to bring him back to his crib. If he's (pretty much) slept through the night once, though, I know it will happen again!

Natalie woke this morning from a nightmare. While Phil was in the shower, I was feeding Ethan, when suddenly Natalie started a panicky cry. When I came into her room, she was tear-streaked and holding out her right hand stiff in front of her, and cried "more spider, mama!" I asked her "where?" and she pointed toward her hand - she didn't want to look down at it. Of course, there was nothing there, but this all stems from something that happened on Friday. I took Ethan and Natalie to the zoo on Friday (using the double stroller this time; much easier), and as we were driving home, about five minutes from the zoo, she suddenly SCREAMED, like I hadn't heard her scream since she walked into the eye-level protruding wire at Wal-Mart last June. She had been sucking on a Dum-Dum that she got at the zoo, so I turned around quickly because I thought for sure something equally terrible had occurred. (At this point, I want to apologize to my mother for my frequent blood-curdling screams for no real reason growing up. I understand now, I really do.) There was no apparent injury, but Natalie looked positively fear-stricken. She was holding both arms stiffly out in front of her, and her face was the look of fright. I'd never seen such a look about her before. I quickly glanced around (though I was still driving at 45 mph on Sawmill Parkway) and then saw what the problem was - a fly, sitting on her hand or sometimes to the front of her jacket. I said, "oh, Natalie! Honey, it's only a fly!" She screamed even harder. I tried to rationalize with her, then. "It's like a lady bug - it won't hurt you - remember when the lady bug landed on Mama's leg?" She kept screaming, so I made the first exit I could, into a bank parking lot. For the next 10 minutes, I tried to get that fly out of my car. It wouldn't go, even with every door open and me swatting at it continually, all the while still trying to calm down my wailing child. That fly not only wouldn't leave the car, it also wouldn't leave Natalie alone. It had no interest in landing anywhere but on my terrified kid. Finally, I thought I saw it fly out, so I closed all the doors and left again. Calm returned for a minute or two, then suddenly - SCREAAAAAM - from the back seat. It was still there, on Natalie's arm. I reached back and took her sucker, thinking maybe it was attracted to her candy and now it might come up toward me. Nope, it stayed right with Natalie. At the light to get on 270 from Sawmill, I opened all the windows and while the light was red, tried to reach to the back seat and furiously swat it out the window. It refused to go - I'd swat it off her, it would fly around for a second, then land right again on her. Meanwhile, of course Natalie is still screaming -SCREAMING-  nonstop.  A woman in a car next to me saw, and heard, all the commotion, and pointedly gave me the dirtiest look I've ever gotten. She no doubt assumed I was wailing away not at an insect but at my poor defenseless child who was strapped in and screaming in her car seat. With that, the light turned green and I was stuck several rows deep in the turn lane, so I gave up. She continued to cry around 270, and the fly wouldn't leave her. Now I was starting to feel terrorized by this fly - A FLY! - as well; my daughter was screaming, scared out of her wits, the fly was insistent on staying on her, and there was nothing I could do about it. So I just started alternately singing songs, hoping to distract her (not a chance) and praying that God would somehow get that fly to leave my frightened child alone. It stuck right with her, but about a mile from the exit toward Gahanna, she fell asleep from exhaustion. Amazingly, Ethan slept right through it all. He usually acts really anxious and disturbed when his sister cries. The next day, we were all driving somewhere and the fly appeared again, this time just flying all around the car. Natalie started to cry again, but then I opened up my window and it flied right out, like any normal fly would do. So, the end result is that now my two year old who already had a healthy imagination, is now very much afraid of bugs, and she thinks she sees spiders everywhere - on her, on the floor, on the wall at church this morning.

When I was newly-pregnant with Natalie, I remember someone making a comment that kind of offended me. I still don't agree, but I understand the sentiment now. This person said, "you're not really a parent until you have two children." It just never ceases to amaze me how much more exponentially complicated day-to-day life gets with the addition on a second child. You'd think it would about double with baby number 2, but it feels more like at least 10 times. Not to mention trying to get out of the house, especially when it's just me with the kids. Yes, you are most definately a real parent from the moment you have a child, but it seemed a more manageable chaos then. I'm now considering coming up with a written schedule just for mundane tasks like cleaning the kitchen, doing laundry, and for goodness sake, getting BOTH children a bath!!!!  On top of general child-upkeep, Natalie has decided she's ready to learn the potty ("no more diapers, mama") so now we're adding that - trying to keep on her to remember to potty, while attending to Ethan's still very new baby needs as well. Last week, Natalie was using those new "Feel-n-Learn" pull-ups, which supposedly have a wetness strip so she can tell when she's peed, but it didn't seem real effective. We also got her a 6-pack of real panties (purple and pink; she's happy to show them off) which last week she insisted on wearing OVER her pull-ups. I think we're ready to take the plunge and just let her wear the panties this week. We just aren't making plans to go very many places, and we're expecting brand new stains on our already disgusting living room carpet.

October 14, 2004  
Yesterday, Ethan was 2 months old! His two month picture is on this page. He gave me a half-smile for the picture. I noticed that sometimes when he smiles, one of his eyes closes more than the other one...just like me. My uneven eyes in photos have always bugged me a little, but now I know it must be at least somewhat genetic! 

He measured in at 24.5 inches long, and 14 pounds even. His head circumference is 16.5 inches. 14 pounds is really big for two months old, but I thought it was going to be a little more than that, since some of his 3-6 month clothes are starting to get tight. This week I got out some of his 6-9 month clothes from the basement and got them into a pile ready to be washed. 
The funniest thing that happened at this month's appointment was something that Natalie said. The nurse (who was a new lady and not the person who is usually there, because she just went on maternity leave) was trying to talk to Natalie. She asked her what her name was (Natalie responded with staring at her in silence, of course) so then the nurse asked her if she liked having a baby brother. Natalie again stared at her, saying nothing. The lady then told Natalie that when he gets older, she'll be able to pick on him. Natalie looked at her with a "you must be nuts" look on her face and responded very matter-of-factly, "Ethan not a pickle."

There was one thing I forgot to mention the last time. (Amazing that I could forget something, with the lengthiness involved!) I had my 6 week postpartum checkup last week (at 8 weeks). Mostly everything is healed up just fine, except that I apparently really did a doozy on myself when I was pushing during labor. Not only did I crack two molars, as I wrote about before, but I damaged a joint in my right hip. For a couple days after delivery, I couldn't walk fully straight upright. I remember walking around like I always saw my Grandma Zamrazil walk around in her last several years, one hand on her hip.  That part of my back continued to hurt (and still does occasionally, especially when I walk around for more than a few minutes at a time, or when I went to the zoo and carried Ethan around in the front carrier). The doctor poked around a little to see if she could find the spot that was hurting me, but she couldn't find it (and of course it's never hurting when the doctor takes a look at it, so you have to try your best to describe where it WAS hurting, REALLY, it was.) She brought in another doctor, someone who was more of a specialist I guess, and he started poking around on my back too. Then suddenly he hit the EXACT spot, and it hurt really bad. I jumped and yelled out, so he knew exactly where I was sore! I don't remember what it is called, but it's something in my right hip that he said was pulled out of place. It should heal up in time, he said.

October 11, 2004  
I figured it was time for an update. I'd like to get on here more frequently, but that's the way it goes sometimes... it just makes it harder to remember all the things I've been wanting to get written down. (I also wouldn't have to write as much if I wrote more frequently!) Even right now, I'm writing just a few words at a time because I'm trying to get Ethan to relax and take a nap...gotta go put the pacifier back in...he wants it but it often falls out, then he starts to cry again. He's at the point where he can knock it out of his mouth with his hand, but of course not find it to put it back in...here I go again...Okay, so now I've given up for awhile, and the boy is sitting in my lap as I type one-handed. I know he just needs to take a nap; I just need to convince him of this fact. He just nursed, and I just changed him, but he's cranky and has heavy eyelids. At least he does nap, once he decides he really is tired. Natalie will tell us she's sleepy, yet still scream if I put her in her room to bed. No, she doesn't then fall asleep from exhaustion; no matter how tired I know she is, she will keep on screaming and carrying on. At least she still hasn't figured out that she can easily get out of her bed by herself, so at least I can make her be "stuck" there for at least a half hour as forced "quiet time" (even if that does include nonstop crying). It's also where we've recently instituted a formal "time out" for her -- though they are often as much for my composure as for hers -- when the crankiness hits its peaks. We can always hope that she will at least doze off for a little while, and very occasionally, she does.

Okay, so where was I? Oh yeah, a long-awaited update on things around here. All of us but Phil have had a bad version of the flu within the last week and a half. It started with Natalie a week ago. The poor girl was really sick, and vomited twice right on our couch (the one with the non-removable cushions). It smells so bad. I washed it as best as I could and sprayed a quarter of a bottle of Febreze on it, and it still is sour. Then this past Thursday I got sick, with the same thing I'm sure. I lost 6 pounds that one day. (Most of that has come back now in the past couple days.) I think having the flu also kicked my postpartum hair loss into high gear. Starting this weekend, it's now coming out in clumps again, just like last time. I wonder if it will grow back in even more curly this time, or if it'll go back to straight? It would be nice if I didn't lose so much this time, though I'm not counting on it. Last time it got so bad, peaking around 6 months postpartum, that I had a couple almost bald patches and I went to the doctor to have my thyroid checked. Ethan was sick on Sunday, vomiting twice early in the morning, though I think because of the wonders of breast milk, his wasn't as bad and didn't last a couple days like it did for Natalie and I. Phil hasn't gotten sick yet and we are praying he won't. He's moving his law office this week! He was sort of hired (basically as a subcontractor) by a very established Christian attorney in town, Roger Weaver. He does lots of advertising, and gets many new clients every day. Phil won't be paid a salary but Roger contracts out to him his overflow of work, and he doesn't have to pay any rent for his office space, either. It's farther away than his old office (not much else could be closer than that was though) but it's not that bad, and it still gives Phil the flexibility to do his church work and also work on his own clients as well. We think it is a good move for us, for right now anyway.

Natalie has named her first toy. All by herself, she decided that her purple beanie baby bear (the "Princess" one) is called Dorothy. She plays with her all the time, making up little stories and narratives with her other toys. Her imagination is just really exploding right now. She insists, several times a day, that there are spiders in the house. She seems particularly afraid if them but not other bugs so much. She likes to pick an invisible spider off the carpet and open our hands to give it to us. (It reminds me of her obsession with carpet "specks" back when she was about a year old.) Sometimes we then pretend to put the spider in our mouth and chew it up, which she finds very amusing.

Ethan is smiling a lot these days. He even almost giggled at me the other day. I call it sort of a half-giggle, but it was his first attempt. I was talking and cooing at him, and tapping on his chin, nose, and cheeks, which usually gets him smiling. Then I ran my fingers up his belly toward his cute little dimpled chin, and he opened his mouth wide for a smile and made what sounded like a double hiccup.

He turns two months this week! I don't know his weight right now, but some of his 3-6 month clothes are getting tight. At his bath last night, Phil said, "he's got a sumo belly!" He is getting big. Some friends of ours, who have a baby 3 weeks older than Ethan, visited this weekend, and the size comparison was astounding. She's not small either (around 75th percentile) but her head seemed about half as big as Ethan's! He is SO round! Two more things I wanted to note about him this time - first, we're pretty sure his eyes are turning blue like Natalie's, but we think he's going to have my hair color. Secondly, I recently found a reason behind why Ethan has what looks like a little pink stork bite on his right wrist. I noticed it right when he was first born, thinking it was a scratch, but it never went away. The other day I wasn't getting his pacifier to him as quickly as he liked, and I noticed he put his hand over his face again, just like we'd seen in his 3D ultrasound. He was sucking on his wrist right where that mark is! So I think he gave himself his OWN stork bite!

Last thing I wanted to mention today: we met a two year old Ethan Alexander on Saturday. We went down to the Cincinnati Zoo (for a day trip), and while Natalie was in the petting zoo with Phil and Aunt Sarah ("Rah-rah"), I stayed outside with Ethan who was asleep in the double stroller. A mom had been running around after her very active boy, calling out "Ethan!" Later I went up and talked to her and showed her our 8 week old Ethan. She then said that her son had her maiden last name, which was Alexander! I said, "that's his middle name too!" We both agreed that Ethan Alexander was a nice, classy, and strong sounding name.